Nothing Ever Changes

Part 2

"Another stupid fucking argument." Lindsey spoke to no one in his studio. 

They had been disagreeing on a lot lately. Usually it would be small, silly things likes Lindsey's socks on the bedroom floor. They hadn't had a fight about Stevie in a long time, though. Lindsey kept thinking about it, unsure what the big deal was. He didn't think he had done something so terribly wrong. He and Stevie might not have been on speaking terms for over two years now, but what did Kristen expect? That he was never going to perform songs about her either? That would be the majority of his catalogue. Or was Kristen just trying to find another hook, another reason for the two of them to yell at each other and go to bed angry again?

Strumming his acoustic guitar, Lindsey lay on the couch and stared up at the ceiling. Something had changed, he realized that much, but what? If anything, he was doing his best to be the husband and father his family had always wanted him to be. He hadn't been on tour for a while, he tried to spent a lot less time in the studio as well. He had a brand new album on his hands, ready to be released, he didn't need to stay in his so called bunker until the early hours of the morning. Or was that the exact reason why he and Kristen were arguing so often? Sure, he was difficult to deal with, not a secret, everybody knew that, but she knew that, too, before they got married. Was he getting on her nerves? Was he somehow limiting her freedom by spending all of his time at home? 

Carefully putting away his instrument, Lindsey sat up and went in search of his stash. He hadn't had a drink in years, but he still smoked. It helped with his creativity and it certainly helped during tough times. Before he took his seat again, he went over to his record collection. Another thing he hadn't done in a while was listen to Buckingham Nicks. It held a special place in his heart, but whenever he heard one of the songs, it always brought back too many memories, some good, some he wished to forget. Maybe it was all the talk about Stevie, maybe he just... maybe he needed to hear her voice. While she was an incredible writer, to Lindsey, her voice had always been the biggest draw to her. Especially on the that first album they did together. She sounded so young, innocent and sweet - it brought him comfort. Lindsey knew that if Kristen walked in unexpectedly, they'd be back to shouting, but honestly he didn't care.

Sometimes, not often, Lindsey allowed himself to think of Stevie. In spite of everything that happened, she was still such a huge part of his life. She was a constant in his life, through good times and bad. Even though they fought all the time, he still knew that the next day he went into a studio or arrived at a venue, she'd eventually show up, too. Maybe that was the thing he was the angriest about, not the fact that she no longer wanted to be in the same band with him. He didn't completely understand why, but one day she woke up and decided that she wanted him out of her life. Yeah, that hurt.

Feeling the effect of the joint, Lindsey lay back down on the couch and picked up his guitar again. With his eyes closed, he began strumming a melody, which gradually became a different version of Stephanie. Realizing that, he put the acoustic away again and sat hunched over, head in his hands. He sighed. 

Does she sometimes think about me as well?