Nothing Ever Changes

Part 17

Lindsey followed behind Stevie, his mouth shut, as they walked up the stairs and took a right. When she stopped, he assumed they'd reached their destination, but she didn't open the door right away. She turned around to face him.

"I don't normally allow people in this room. It's my room and it's private." Stevie explained, waiting for him to say that he understood.

Lindsey, shockingly, had been in her bedroom once and he was pretty sure that room wasn't it. He wondered if it was her equivalent of his studio. "If you're uncomfortable with me being in there, I don't have to go. I'll wait out here."

Shaking her head, Stevie reached for the handle. "No, it's fine. I wouldn't have led you up here if I didn't want to. Just don't touch anything." She added and opened the door. "You can take a seat over there." She showed to a dark red loveseat and he did as told. 

While Stevie was clearly in search of something, Lindsey took the time to look around. It was a rather large room, with a grand piano right in the middle of it. He thought, she only had the one downstairs. There were framed pictures covering the walls, the time period ranging from pre-Buckingham Nicks to as late as the 2013 tour with Fleetwood Mac. Some were only of Stevie, in others she was with her girl friends, he also recognized some family members. Several pictures of her and Tom Petty hung as well, which was not at all surprising. What did surprise him, though, was that Stevie had framed the Buckingham Nicks cover and it wasn't hidden somewhere in the corner, no, it was front and center, once they entered the room. A sizeable record collection, neatly organized. Books. Some more books. Paintings. Photo albums. Yeah, that was Stevie's cave.

"I come here to write." Stevie spoke up as she joined Lindsey, sitting down beside him. "Not when I'm journaling, but when I'm writing poems. I love the sound of this piano, too."

"Doesn't it sound exactly the same as the one in the foyer?" Lindsey asked. He could tell a difference in the sound guitars made, but pianos weren't his specialty.

"To me, it doesn't." She shrugged and he thought, what a Stevie thing to say. 

Lindsey noticed a stack - a large one - of papers in her hands. "Was this, what you were looking for?"

"Yeah." Stevie nodded. "There are many things in these; some are poems, some are letters, some are just silly drawings."

"Aren't they supposed to be a part of your journals?"

"Well, they were, but I tore them out for a day like to day." Stevie smiled shyly and Lindsey thought, she looked somewhat embarrassed. "I was hoping that someday we'll meet again."

"So was I." Lindsey nodded, his arm itching to wrap around her. 

"Uh, everything here-" She held up the stack up for emphasis. "Is about you or for you."

"Oh?" His interest piqued, he patiently awaited for her to elaborate.

"I have thought about you after your departure from the band, but not in the way I started thinking about you after your heart surgery." Stevie swallowed uneasily, she could clearly remember the moment she found out. "It scared me. I couldn't stop crying for like two days. I wanted to call you then, not write you a little note."

"Why didn't you?" Lindsey asked, touched by her concern. "I would have answered."

"Well, I didn't know that, did I? Besides, I didn't want to add any stress, I didn't want to do anything that might hurt you." She replied. "And to be completely honest with you, I didn't want to go through Kristen. She was there by your side as your wife, she could take care of you and love you and me? I was nothing, I couldn't do anything to help you."

"Stevie..." Lindsey hugged her around her shoulders and pulled her closer, pressing a kiss to her hair. "That's not true. You'll never be nothing to me, you have to know that."

"It's how I felt at the time." She shrugged. "That's how I felt right up until several weeks ago. Anyway." She said. "Ever since that, I've been writing to you. Mostly, it's just nonsense." She laughed tearfully. "I've written down some beautiful memories, moments we've shared together. I've asked you, if you were doing alright, even though I kept the letters to myself. You've inspired many poems. I've done some drawings of us from various times of our lives. There's... there's a lot. I wasn't sure if I was ever going to be able to give this to you or if I even wanted to, but... as soon as I saw you today, I knew." Stevie gave everything over to Lindsey and he was slightly taken aback. Those were things from her journal, she had never let him take a peek. "It's up to you if you want to look through or throw them out the second you leave."