Nothing Ever Changes

Part 41

Lindsey didn't want to leave Stevie on her own, that usually didn't end so well. She'd be by herself, no one around to distract her from intrusive thoughts. Just her, all alone with her belief that she didn't deserve to have a happy ending. Not with Lindsey, not with anyone else.

He tried not to focus on the negative too much, while Lindsey was on his way home. On his way to that massive, cold, lonely house. He didn't want to go back there. He wanted to turn back around and go back the way he came. Hopefully, by the end of the day, he would. 

Desperately needing to calm down, Lindsey went straight to his studio as soon as he returned to his place. He was going to roll a joint and enjoy it before Kristen arrived. Except that he wasn't. The second he sat down, his phone lit up. She came early. She no longer owned a key, so he had to let her in. Taking a deep breath, he walked out of his studio and back to the front door.

"Sorry, I kept you waiting. I was in the studio." Lindsey apologized, holding onto the handle as if they were going to talk right there.

"It's okay." Kristen smiled, stepping inside, when he opened the door wider. 

They stood in front of each other awkwardly, neither of the two knowing what to do. She opened her arms and he hugged her back with one arm, taking a step back just a short second later. 

"Would you like to sit down?" Lindsey asked, his hands in his jeans pockets.

"Sure." Kristen nodded and followed behind him into what once was the family room. "So, how are you?"

"I'm great." He replied without hesitation. "I'm doing really well."

"Oh, uh... I'm glad." She wasn't expecting to hear that. "I'm not."

Lindsey swallowed uneasily, clasping his hands together. "Why?"

"Because I miss you." He sighed. "I've been thinking a lot about you, about us. I'm not so sure that divorce feels right anymore."

Lindsey scoffed, turning to face her. "What changed your mind?"

"I don't know." Kristen shrugged. "We've been married for such a long time. We've raised three kids together. For the most part, we've been happy together, right?"

"If you took the time to come see me, you could at least be honest with me." He said, leaning back against the couch. "A month ago you were absolutely certain that this is what you wanted."

"Well... I- uh..." Kristen shifted in her seat. "I thought, I did."

"And now you don't? When I've finally accepted our separation and started moving on?" His eyes on her, unmoving. She looked away. "This has absolutely nothing to do with you seeing Stevie here a couple of weeks ago, does it?"

She sat up straight and pursed her lips. "Why was she here?"

"I'm going to be honest with you, Kristen." Lindsey emphasized. He had made his choice before he walked out of Stevie's home. "I've been spending a lot of time with Stevie. I know, what you think about her, so I don't want to hear it. I'm happy. I don't know, what's going to happen in the future, I don't even know if I'm going to see her tomorrow, but right now, today, I'm happy." He shrugged and continued, when she remained quiet. "Things are never certain between us, but I know, what I want. You took the first step, when you filed for divorce. I'm not going to take that step back and try fixing, what can no longer be fixed."

"You wouldn't be saying that if she hadn't come back." Kristen shook her head, clear disdain in her voice. "She always ruins everything! I don't know, how she does it, but she blinds you, Lindsey. Do you think that it's a coincidence she wanted to be friends with you again, when it came out that we're separated?"

"She wanted to know if I was doing alright. No matter what happened in the past, we still care about each other." The eyeroll didn't go unnoticed by him. "You wouldn't be here if you didn't know that she and I are talking again either."

"Apparently, you're doing a lot more than talking again." Kristen gave him a pointed look. "The divorce hasn't been finalized yet, Lindsey."

"What are you going to do? Demand a bigger payout?" He wasn't fazed by her implication. "It's none of your business, what we're doing. You made it clear that you don't want me anymore. Somebody else does."

"I wonder for how long. You'll be the one, begging to see me a week later." 

"Whatever that is going on between Stevie and I might be over in a week, you're right, but don't expect me to come back, much less, beg you to take me back." Lindsey said, sounding completely sure. "This time, I'm telling you that I've made a decision. I don't want to do this anymore. I'm done."