Nothing Ever Changes

Part 18

They had already said, goodbye, to each other about five times, but then one of them brought something up and they remained in Stevie's foyer, chatting a while longer. Lindsey arrived around 3 pm and it was close to 8, neither of the two could have guessed that he was going to stay for as long as he did.

"Right, I should get going." Lindsey said once again and Stevie nodded her head, hugging herself around the middle. "Thank you, for today. I mean it."

"My door's always open." Stevie smiled shyly, without wanting to sound presumptuous. He could possibly not return again. "It's been quite an emotional roller coaster." 

"Yeah." Lindsey agreed, unsure of how many times they'd switched from laughter to tears and back again. "Maybe... if you like, of course, you could come see me next time."

"To clean the cobwebs, hanging off the ceiling?" She teased and he did so too right back. 

"Good luck reaching the ceiling." He smirked and she chuckled, opening the door for him. "Come 'ere."

She didn't hesitate to step into his arms. He embraced and held her tightly, reminding her of how perfectly they fit together. Their hug was no less emotional than the one they shared when he'd just arrived. His hand stroking her back, reassured her that they might see each other again. As did his fingers tangling in her hair as he pressed his lips to her forehead. 

"Should I be expecting a call tonight?" Stevie asked.

"Uhm..." Lindsey pulled back and the hesitation stung her. "I think, there's a lot for us to process tonight. Besides, I've got a lot of material to go through." He smiled, referring to what she'd given him earlier, wanting to show her that he was not saying, goodbye, to her, to them.

"Oh, okay." Stevie nodded, gripping the door handle firmly as he stepped over the threshold. "It's been a long day." She forced a small smile and he sighed. 

"Stevie, please, don't do that." Lindsey asked gently. "It's not that I don't want to, it's because, I think, we should..." He trailed of, unsure of how to put it into words. "Tell me, you understand?"

"Yeah, of course." She nodded. "It's fine, not a big deal." She cast her eyes down, secretly wanting to shut the door in his face before he could say anything else. She then felt his hand cup her cheek and tilt her head up, so she would look at him. "Lindsey, it's fine."

"I'll call to wish you a goodnight." Compromise, they needed to learn how to do that. 

And with that, Lindsey was in his car and pulling out of her driveway a second later. She watched him drive away and she couldn't shake the feeling that he was leaving for good. She could have been wrong, absolutely, but now that he was gone, she couldn't possibly know, what was going through his mind. If he was still with her, she could look him in the eyes and see everything she wanted, needed to know.

Lindsey didn't go home right away. Just like he had predicted, he drove around aimlessly, without a destination in his mind. He turned the radio on, then turned it off again some time later as the thoughts in his head clashed with the music. Overall, he felt good. He finally got to see Stevie, he'd missed her immensely. They also discussed some touchy subjects, which he doubted they would have ever done if not for how things went down. There was no denying that a lot had remained unsaid, they hadn't solved all of their problems. She had questions, he was not ready to answer yet, mainly because he didn't know, how she was going to react. However, if they kept themselves open to each other, maybe they would get to it. He too wanted to ask about some things, but he didn't want to ambush her, because he knew, she would have closed up and he would have been back at his place five minutes instead of five hours later. 

When Lindsey finally returned home, he had that feeling of loneliness once again. Even though Stevie lived by herself too, well, she lived with Karen, still, as soon as he walked through the door, he felt at home. She might be a worldwide famous rockstar, but when it was just two of them, she'd always manage to transport him years back into the past. She'd transform into that young, overworked and tired, but still so loving and caring girlfriend she used to be even if she hadn't been for a very long time. 

But there he was, in his cold and empty house. He reached for his phone, but then stopped himself. He was only meant to wish her a goodnight tonight.