Nothing Ever Changes

Part 5

They stared at each other in silence. Lindsey still held onto the door handle, unable to move or formulate a coherent sentence. He knew that they were going to see each other that day, yet he was still slightly surprised that his guest showed up.

"It's so good to see you." Mick broke the silence and opened his arms wide for a hug.

"Likewise." Lindsey grinned, seemingly able to breathe again. 

The men stood embracing each other for a moment, neither might have wanted to admit it, but they both got a little emotional.

"I'm sorry, come in." Lindsey pushed the door open wider and Mick followed behind him. "I'm just... a bit overwhelmed that you're here and not on the phone, you know."

Mick was the only person from the band with whom Lindsey was talking to. When Peter Green died, he put any ill feelings he held aside and picked up the phone. Mick said, I'm sorry, Lindsey said, it's okay.

"I'm really happy that you came." Lindsey said, leading the way so they could take a seat. "I've been going crazy here on my own."

"I can imagine." Mick nodded. 

"Can I get you anything?" 

"Do you have anything?" Mick laughed and so did Lindsey.

"I've been living on coffee and takeout." He sighed, sitting down. "My doctor would kill me if he knew."

"Aren't you supposed to be following a strict diet?" Mick asked, he remembered them talking about it and all of the changes Lindsey was going to have to make after his surgery.

"I am, but..." Lindsey shrugged, leaning back. "Everything else in my life is falling apart, so..."

"So, are you... is Kristen... I mean..." It was unusual, but Mick did not know how to approach the subject.

"Honestly, I don't know, Mick." Lindsey replied, shaking his head. "She wanted us to spend some time apart. I've been living here for two months now."

"Well, have you discussed your... situation?"

"Uh..." Lindsey scratched the stubble on his chin. "Not really. We saw each other a couple of times, but we haven't talked about us." He grew quite, shifting his gaze. "The last time I went over to see Stella, Kristen, uh... she wasn't wearing her ring anymore, so... I mean, that tells me everything I need to know."

"Not necessarily. Maybe she's taken it to the cleaners." Lindsey gave him a look. "Maybe not." Mick shrugged. "Well, you just have to talk to each other. It's unfair to you if she's already made up her mind, but she keeps you guessing." 

"I just... I don't get what happened, you know?" Lindsey leaned forward in his seat, resting his elbows on his knees. "God knows she had a thousand chances to leave me, but she stayed."

"What was the last trigger?" Mick quickly added. "If you don't mind me asking."

Lindsey laughed sadly, shaking his head. "Have a guess?"

"No..."

"Yeah." 

"But how?" Mick frowned. "You two haven't even talked to each other in over two years. Or have you?" 

"We haven't." Lindsey replied. "I did that online show, I mentioned Stevie and that was it."

"It can't be that, though, right?" Mick wondered aloud. "Like you said, if Kristen wanted to divorce you because of Stevie, she had other opportunities. Actually, maybe she should have divorced you back then." 

"She said, there are other things, what things, I don't know." Lindsey clasped his hands together, lowering his eyes. 

"Maybe you'll figure this out." Mick said with a smile, however, he didn't sound too confident. "Maybe whatever's going on will pass."

"Yeah, maybe." Lindsey gave another shrug of his shoulders. He went quiet and Mick didn't speak up either for a moment. He could tell that Lindsey had something on his mind, so he waited. "How's... do you know how Stevie is doing?"

"You know, she's being herself. I'm sure she's going mad that she can't be on the road, but what can you do. To be honest, we haven't really talked too many times since the pandemic hit." Mick said, a hint of sadness in his voice. "She's staying at her house, she's up until the early hours of the morning. She's probably filled out twenty journals by now." 

That made Lindsey smile as he thought about the poems she'd written, the little drawings she did. "Good, I'm glad she's okay." 

"Do you ever think about maybe reaching out?" Mick asked, sounding somewhat careful.

"Can't say that I don't, but it's really up to her. I think, it's insane that we're in this position today, especially after everything we've been through, but it is what it is." Lindsey sighed. "I'm open to starting a conversation if she ever decides she wants that as well. I'm not angry with her. Not anymore." Lindsey added. "I just want her to be happy, you know. If she can be happy with me as a part of her life, that's great. If she can't, that's fine, too."

"You never know, mate." Mick offered an encouraging smile. "Crazier things have happened."