Nothing Ever Changes

Part 33

Very rarely, but it happened sometimes. As Lindsey looked down at Stevie, her head resting in his lap, his fingers gently combing through her hair, he couldn't tell if she was asleep or not. Her breathing was quiet and even, but she moved a little too much for her to be sleeping, slight movements, but he noticed. He wasn't guessing because he was getting uncomfortable, quite the opposite, he just wanted to ask her something and he wasn't sure if he should disturb her peaceful moment.

"What is it?" Stevie spoke up minutes later. 

"What do you mean?" Lindsey asked, his hand stilled for a second, before he resumed the light, almost massage like movements. 

"I can almost hear your thoughts, Linds." She smiled, her eyes remained closed. "We talk now, you know."

"I do." He nodded, smiling a little too. "Well, I was just... wondering."

"Go on." She said, reaching for his hand, she brought it down to her lips, before she wrapped his arm around her middle. 

"I kinda want to ask you something." If not for Stevie laying in his lap, his knee would have started bouncing already. "It's really not a big deal, but it also brings us out of our bubble."

Her eyes fluttered open and she turned her head slightly to look up at him. "Ask."

"I'd really like it if you came over to rehearsals." Lindsey said, his eyes on her, waiting. "I'd take you out, but I feel like that's out of the question for the time being, and I'd really like it if we could do something else besides visiting each other's houses."

"People are gonna have questions." Stevie shifted her gaze and focused on his hand instead. She lifted it up and began gently kneading his palm, moving to his fingers. For the first time, since their reconciliation, she was truly bothered by the wedding ring her eyes were fixed on. "We don't do well with others around."

"True, but you know those people." He argued, keeping his voice calm. "It's not like they're going to run to the tabloids."

"Is this not enough for you?" She questioned, sitting up. 

Before she could get away, Lindsey draped his arm around her waist and pulled her against himself. "Of course, it is. This is a lot more than I could have ever imagined us being again."

"You're still married, Lindsey." Stevie stated the obvious, drawing her knees to her chest, but she remained pressed against his side. "I wouldn't want anyone to get the wrong impression."

"Oh, and what's that?" He tensed up, balling up a fistful of her blouse. "What's the impression?"

"Honestly?" She shrugged and faced him. "I don't know. I try not to think about it."

His expression softened. She wasn't pulling away, she was afraid. Bringing his hand up to her cheek, he brushed his thumb over her soft skin and leaned in to kiss her. 

"You should stop worrying about what other people think, Steph." He sighed, pressing his forehead to hers, his fingers once again tangled in her hair. "I'm not exactly sure, what's going on either, but what I do know is that I'm really fucking happy right now."

She gave him a tearful smile, shifting to lay her head on his chest, he pressed a kiss to her hair. "I am, too, and that's exactly what scares me." She sniffled, holding onto him tightly. "I've been happy with you before. Happy in a way, where I thought, this is it, nothing can go wrong this time."

"I'm sorry." It was his natural response, when talking about their past. "But don't you think that we deserve this? Sure, it's taken us a long time to get here, but..." He trailed off with a shrug. 

"I fear that you're happy, when we're in our bubble." Stevie echoed his words. "I'm afraid that if we're apart, it changes."

"If it did, I wouldn't be here right now." Lindsey replied honestly. "Steph, I- I want to be with you. It's not because I'm forcing myself to and you have to start believing that." After a moment of silence, he continued. "What I'm afraid of is that I'm coming on too strong."

"What makes you say that?" She asked, tilting her chin up, she reached up to plant a kiss on his neck. 

"Ever since that first time we talked, we've barely been separated. At first, we talked on the phone almost every night, then when I came to see you, we spend nearly every day together. I know you and I know that commitment scares you. Don't get me wrong, I know that we're not... you know, together, but if things keep going the way they are... we could... be." Lindsey found it hard to say that out loud. He didn't want to assume anything, but he also didn't want to be mislead. 

"I wouldn't call or come over, or let you come over if I didn't want to be with you as well, Linds." Stevie assured, tracing his jawline with the pad of her thumb, trying to relieve the tension. 

"You mean that?" He asked, a weak smile crossed his face.

"I do." She nodded, pulling him down for a proper kiss. "So, is it okay to ask you to stay the night?"