Nothing Ever Changes

Part 4

A lot was going through Lindsey's mind as he packed his suitcase. He threw in a couple of pairs of jeans, T-shirts and other necessities. The worst part was that he had no idea for how long he was meant to pack. He pressed the top of the suitcase down with his knee to zip it up. He cursed when the zipper got stuck and wouldn't budge.

"I'm sorry, I really am." Kristen said, standing in the doorway of their bedroom. Was it still theirs? "I just need some time, okay? I think, this will be good for us."

"Right." Lindsey replied through gritted teeth.

"I just feel like I'm forcing you out of your own house and I hate it."

"Well, that's exactly what you're doing." He shrugged, lifting the suitcase off the bed.

"Lindsey-"

"No, don't." He shook his head. "You want me out, I'm moving out. Don't start. Don't say, you're sorry, because I don't believe you are."

"I am!" She insisted. "I could have left, just that... Stella is so used to-"

"Leave her out of this." Lindsey interrupted, pointing a finger at Kristen. "Do not bring our child into this mess. This was your decision."

Shifting her weight from one foot onto the other, Kristen folded her arms over her chest. "I haven't made any decisions yet, Lindsey. This is not the end. I'm not filing for divorce first thing tomorrow morning."

He scoffed. "Yeah, we'll see about that." With his suitcase in hand, Lindsey moved to walk past his wife, but she tried to reach for his hand, which he snatched away from her grasp. "Just let me go, okay?" He asked, now standing in the hallway. "I'm doing exactly as I was told, so please, let me leave." 

Rubbing the tear out of her eye, which hadn't escaped yet, Kristen nodded her head. "Alright. But I'm begging you to believe me when I say that this is not permanent."

Lindsey didn't respond. He couldn't believe anything she was telling him right now. Before he got into his car, Lindsey wanted to say goodbye to Stella, but she was out with friends and he didn't get to do that. They sat down together, the three of them, last night and tried to explain it to Stella what was going on. Unfortunately, Lindsey truly didn't understand what was going on, so he let Kristen speak. The teenager didn't seem too brokenhearted, but she did leave her parents and went up to her bedroom. Lindsey didn't quite know how to take it, he just hoped that his daughter was going to be okay.

The last time they had moved, Lindsey didn't put their property on the market right away. It was as if he knew, he was going to have to return to the place his family once called home, this time, however, completely alone. He even missed the dogs, when he walked through the door and none of them came running to him. The house felt too big and empty, it didn't feel like home.

To say that Lindsey felt lost was a huge understatement. One day he and Kristen were having silly arguments about his clothes all over the bedroom, the next day she's upset about him mentioning his ex-girlfriend's name once and throwing him out of the house. 

'It's not the only reason why, there's a lot of them.'

Kristen's words echoed in his head as Lindsey sat by himself, his suitcase still be the front door. He was racking his brain, trying to come up with just one good enough reason for him moving out of his family home. Did she no longer love him? Was she tired of him? Did she have someone else? Did she realize that he was too old for her? What? What?

Rising to his feet, Lindsey went to pick up his guitar case, the only one he'd brought with him. Even though his old home studio was empty except for a worn out leather couch, that was where he decided to go. He didn't feel so lonely there.