Nothing Ever Changes

Part 35

"Mm... Oh, God... that feels so good!" Stevie moaned, closing her eyes. "Fuck, right there!"

Lindsey stopped, raising an eyebrow as he sat, straddling her thighs. "How come you're never this loud, when we're making love?"

"Maybe because it doesn't feel as good as it does, when you're massaging my lower back." She teased, looking at him over her shoulder. "I don't think, I said, you could stop?"

He chuckled lightly, shaking his head. "Anything you want, I guess." He said and resumed kneading her aching muscles. "How long has your back been bothering you?"

"I don't know, since 1975?" She shrugged, closing her eyes again. "It's probably all the action that I was no longer used to."

"Maybe a hot bath would help?" Lindsey suggested. "Not that I'm complaining, of course. I'd stare at your bare ass all day every day if I could."

"Shuttup!" She laughed, hiding her face in the pillow. "A hot bath sounds nice, though."

"Alright." He nodded and bent down to leave a trail of kisses up her naked back. "I'll be right back."

"You don't have to, Linds." Stevie shook her head, rolling onto her side, her eyes following his path towards the bathroom. 

"It's not a big deal." He gave a one shoulder shrug, then disappeared out of her sight.

Stevie exhaled heavily, pulling the covers up and over her chest. In so many ways it felt like they were those two young kids again, who had big dreams and were so much in love. Except now, Lindsey wasn't high as a kite all the time, working on their music, while she'd picked up yet another shift so they could pay the rent and eat. He was so caring and attentive. She had all of his attention, when they were together. He was much calmer and gentler with her, he was patient. He'd become the man she had always wished him to be. Maybe he was right, they deserved a happy ending and maybe finally this was it. She shut her eyes and the image of his wedding ring popped into her head. He still wasn't hers, maybe, he was never going to be hers.

"Whenever you're ready." Lindsey said, returning to the bedroom. 

"Could you get me something to cover myself with?" Stevie showed to the pile of discarded clothes on the floor. 

"Why? I've literally just seen you naked." He sighed, folding his arms over his chest.

"Well, I'm sorry that I feel a bit more self-conscious than you do and I can't walk around in nothing but my underwear." She swung her legs over the edge of the bed, holding up the bedsheet wrapped around her.

"You're going to undress again in a minute anyway."

"Can we not... fight about this?" Stevie asked, after taking a deep breath. "We clearly see me in a completely different way. If I'm asking you to give me my clothes, can't you just do it? I'm not comfortable walking around naked, especially when it's not even dark outside yet."

At first, Lindsey thought that they were just kidding around. However, he realized that she was serious and she didn't want any of his funny, smart comebacks. He felt a pang of guilt and quickly approached her.

"Hey, I'm sorry." He sat down beside her and hugged her around the shoulders. "I thought, we were just joking."

"Well, you should know better by now, Lindsey." Her voice was stern. "You know better than anyone, how my body image makes me feel. I'm happy that you still find me attractive, but I don't, okay? I feel beautiful on stage, I feel beautiful on a cover of a magazine, but when I'm at home, without all the makeup and the gorgeous clothes, I just feel old." 

He wanted to argue, he wanted to try and prove to her otherwise once again. Though, he'd tried countless times and it had never worked. It didn't work, when they made love for the first time, it didn't work throughout their on and off affairs, it wasn't going to work now.

"I hate hearing you say that, but I'm not going to fight you on this." Lindsey promised, pressing a kiss to her temple. "To me, you are beautiful. I love every single inch of your body, okay? You don't have to feel self-conscious around me. When we're 90-years-old, living in an old folks' home, I will still be telling you that and I will still be trying to cop a feel." He shrugged, making her chuckle weakly. He kissed her on the cheek, before standing up to do, what she had asked him earlier, he lay her clothes on the bed next to her. 

"Thank you." Stevie smiled, tilting her chin up, when he leaned in to kiss her.