Nothing Ever Changes

Part 25

The longer Stevie remained quiet, the more like an idiot Lindsey felt. Why would he just blurt something out like that? Why on earth would he suggest something so outrageous? There was no way for him to play it off, he sounded too serious to pretend he was just kidding. All that there was left for him to do was wait for her response.

"Stay? Here? In this house? With you?" Question after question slipped from Stevie's mouth and Lindsey wanted to run away and hide somewhere. "Lindsey, I- I can't."

"Well, why not?" That was not what he intended to say. "I'm not asking you to share a bed with me. We can sleep in the opposite ends of the house."

The tiny smile on her face surprised him, but it put him a bit more at ease as well. "I'm not worried about... you know, something happening between us." She chuckled, he raised an eyebrow. "Come on, Linds, we're fucking ancient."

"I'll let that slide." The corners of his mouth turned upwards as he leaned back against his spinning chair. "Since we're being honest with each other..." He scratched the back of his head and shifted in his seat again. "Right now, here, with you, I'm happy. I haven't been happy in a long time, Stevie." He admitted and cast his eyes down to the floor, when she gave him a sympathetic look. "But I'm also completely terrified. I feel calm, when I see you sitting in front of me, but when we're apart, I get scared. Knowing us, I fear that something terrible is going to happen and I'll lose you again. I'd hate for to happen. So, if I could just have you with me a little bit longer..." He paused, swallowing uneasily. 

It was a horrible idea. They weren't meant to be having sleepovers so soon if ever again. However, at the same time, Stevie felt like Lindsey truly needed for her to be there right now. 

Seeing her feet coming into view, Lindsey lifted his head up and Stevie stood in front of him. She reached of his hands and brought them up to her mouth, pressing small kisses to his palms. He was afraid, he was going to lose it any second now.

"Okay." 

"What? Okay?" Lindsey repeated, seeing her give a nod of her head. "We're not going to have a fight about how wrong this is?"

"It's plenty wrong." Stevie agreed and moved to sit on his lap, she wrapped his arms around her waist. "This is wrong, too."

"Hey, this is all you." He smirked, giving her a pointed look. "I didn't exactly have to beg."

"Shuttup." She chuckled, scrunching up her nose and his heart skipped a beat. "You need a friend." She said, putting the emphasis on the word friend. "I haven't been there for you, when you needed me, one too many times."

Since it had been decided that Stevie wasn't leaving, Lindsey remembered that he barely had anything in the fridge and she arrived hours ago. He apologized for not being a good host, she told him not to worry about it, he had to have something. While Lindsey sat at the kitchen island, Stevie looked through the contents of the fridge. He tried not to focus on how domestic and nice it felt, she tried to push the thought of his wife doing the same exact thing in the same exact kitchen just a few short years ago. They ended up having breakfast for dinner, but she received no complaints. She made cheese omelets she used to make, when they were barely out of their teenage years.

"I don't even have a toothbrush with me." Stevie said after Lindsey had washed the dishes and was drying his hands off. 

"We'll find you one."

"What am I going to sleep in?" She wondered aloud and he sighed. 

"Why don't we go and look for something?" He suggested and when he turned to leave, she followed behind.

As they were making their way up the stairs, the only thought running through Stevie's mind was that they were about to enter what once was Lindsey and Kristen's bedroom. She then immediately thought, he was actually able to read her mind, when he said, he had taken up one of the guest rooms. 

"Right." Lindsey opened one drawer, then another. "What about this?"

"A polo shirt?" Stevie bit into her bottom lip to keep herself from laughing. "I had no idea that you even owned one of these."

"That's a no." He said, refolding it to put it back.

"Just a normal T-shirt is fine." She then added. "Preferably a long one, which would cover my ass." She saw him grinning from where she was standing. "Dirty old man."

"Who could blame me." Lindsey shrugged, holding up another shirt. "What about this?"

"How old is this shirt?" She asked, reaching for it.

"Probably very. If you don't like it-"

"No, no. It's fine." She said, looking at the print. "Tom would be amused if he knew, you owned a Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers T-shirt."

"You sure are." Lindsey didn't take any offence as he just smiled at her. "Right. I'll get a bed ready for you."

"Or... I could just sleep here?" Stevie wondered out loud. "We're only fooling ourselves, Linds."