TheBoys OneShots (Smut)

Juicy x Eddie: Burned out

There will be no smut in this chapter. Sorry for not posting recently again, but I'm back!  

This chapter has a TW and self harm warning. You have been warned...

Eddie's POV
I sometimes wonder what it would be like if I didn't have so many subscribers. How would it feel to be an ordinary person and work a regular job? Where people weren't reliant on you and depended on you just to make you laugh.
Because that's all I'm good for. Just to make someone chuckle then move on with their lives. My fans probably wouldn't care if I left.
I groaned, tuning my hands through my hair. I took off my blue light glasses, my eyes burning from staring at the computer screen for too long. I had been sitting at my desk for hours working on videos. I always forget to take breaks in between live streams and videos. I had always felt the need to keep going, and going, and going until I couldn't take it anymore. I had to support me and my boyfriend Gaege. The last thing I wanted was for him to worry if we were going to lose our house or anything like that.
I looked at the clock, reading 11 pm. That was enough work for today. I slumped my shoulders as I rose from my desk chair with a sigh. I glanced over at my drawer as I sat on the bed, knowing the razor was in there. Juicy hadn't found it yet, but I honestly didn't know I if I secretly wanted him to. Maybe he could help me by finding the razor since I can't tell him myself. I was too scared of what might happen.
I reached over to pull the sharp blade out of the bedside drawer, passing over the picture of me and Juicy. Our smiling faces and the background of the river walk in San Antonio seemed so long ago. I wished we could have gone back, back when it was our first date. Back when I was happy. Back when none of this shit was happening. 

Blood oozed down my wrist as the blade teared through my skin. I felt tears fill my eyes, and I gritted my teeth to not cry out. I could still hear Juicy cooking and moving around downstairs, not knowing of what was happening. I winced, stopping the blade after several cuts. A tear rolled down my cheek as the cuts stung and burned, and I clenched my fists. I threw the blade in anger across the room, watching it hit the wall and fall behind my desk. I hated it, yet I couldn't stop.

As I sat in anger and pain for a few more minutes, I then heard a knock at my door. "Babe?" I heard Gaege's soft voice through the door, "Are you doing okay?" I didn't answer for a second, finally saying, "Yeah." There was silence for a few moments before Gaege said innocently, "Can I come in?" 

The doorknob twisted, and I didn't know what to do. I froze, glancing down at my wrists and hiding them as best as I could. "I made your favorite food!" Juicy smiled sweetly, peeking his head in the door, "I know you've been working so hard so I-" 

He suddenly gasped, his smile instantly fading. When he saw my eyes full of tears and my wrists covered in blood, his face fell into a broken expression. I didn't meet his eyes, but I saw them glossy and starting to tear up. 

"Eddie..." Juicy put his hand up to his mouth, "Please don't tell me what I think this is." I felt a small cry escape my lips, trying to stop the waterfall of tears escaping me. My heart was so hurt, especially since Juicy caught me like this. I didn't want him to worry. I didn't want to be responsible for his pain too, especially when I had enough.

I nodded sadly, hugging my arms. Juicy walked up to me in silence, a disappointed look on his face. "You're mad, aren't you?" I said quietly, looking at my feet. "No, Eddie," Gaege's tone was serious, "I'm just..." 
He met my eyes, sitting next to me on the bed. "I'm just hurt you never told me you felt this way," Gaege choked on his tears for a second, no longer able to hold himself together, "Why?" I sobbed, burying my face in my hands. 

His arm wrapped around me, puling me closer to him. I cried into his chest as I hugged him tightly. "I'm sorry," I whispered between cries, closing my eyes and taking in his warmth, "I'm so sorry..." 

Juicy squeezed me for a second, putting his head on mine. "It's okay, baby," I heard him say to me, feeling the vibrations run through his chest as he spoke, "Don't be sorry." I looked up at him with teary eyes, looking into his hazel ones. 

I hadn't felt like this for... for as long as I could remember. Now that I think about it, I didn't remember how it felt like to be wrapped in his embrace. Even though we had been dating for a while, I hadn't felt the sparks fly the way they did at this moment. 

"I love you," He said to me, "I love you so, so much." I smiled a little, for the first time in a while. "I love you too," I shifted him onto my lap, pressing his forehead against mine. He grinned, kissing me gently, careful with my wrists. 

"We're going to get through this, okay?" Juicy leaned back so he could see my face, wiping the tears from my eyes, "I promise. I won't leave your side." I was so thankful for having this man with me. It made me realize how lucky I was.
"Thank you," I kissed him on the cheek, bringing him closer to me, "You don't know how lucky I am to have you with me." Gaege hugged me, melting into my embrace. "Of course," Gaege smiled, "I don't say this often but, you're the most important person in my life. I wouldn't live if I lost you." 
"You won't," I promised, feeling much better now he was here, "I love you too much to leave you."

He kissed me again, smiling against my lips. I took in everything, the love that I felt was unreal. Yet, here he was, the most important person to me, and always will be.

A/N: Please remember to ask for help when you feel sad or the need to self-harm. If anyone out there is going through a hard time, I'm here for you, and I'll always try my best to help :) Other than that, I hope you enjoyed and have a good day