WHAT IF

18

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     With flowers in hand of the secretary , Andrew and his secretary  were standing outside the half glassed door of Valerie's dressing room . Andrew was hardly biting his jaws , hands tightly squeezed together into fits and eyes glued at Valerie and Leon who were laughing and being playful with each other .
               " Mr Smith.. " the secretary called he could see how bothered his boss was with the scenery
               " don't say a word " Andrew said , his voice so with held inside battling to make it sound .
               " then let's go inside , am sure she would be happy to see you " the Secretary said .
               " wow , they must be so close" like a whisper his voice came out
               " she is your wife , she is yours" the Secretary reminded him
Andrew looked at Valerie quietly , watching her burst into laughter , smiling ,the friendly eyes she looks at Leon with , the way she talks with him
               " what a lucky guy " Andrew said sadly looking down at his shoes . He was filled with sadness , just wishing he was Leon for that moment . He raised his eyes back to them .
               " she won't be happy when I enter " Andrew said .
               " let's go " Andrew said immediately leading the way .
               " Mr Smith " Paris called as Andrew almost disappeared around the corner. He stopped then turned back to her, Paris rushed towards them .
              " have you seen Valerie " she asked with a small smile
              " yes " Andrew replied . on that statement the Secretary hid the flowers behind him immediately.
              " why .."
              " am so late for an urgent meeting so I will get going " he said not allowing her say much .
              " okay , have a nice day " Paris said .
              " thank you" Andrew said walking away faster .
With anyone around , Andrew wore the cold or an extremely happy expression because with those he could hide his true feelings. His secretary saw all his true feelings but Andrew would not let him carry for him his burdens .

               " Mr Smith , you can talk to me " the Secretary softly said as soon as they got inside the car . Andrew was quiet sadly looking . The Secretary looked at his boss . Andrew's thought were far remembering how Valerie was with Leon and how Valerie was with him , she looked at him with plain and cold eyes , when she smiled it was not the some like she was forced to smile , never once did ever think of touching him , maybe in public when she had no choice , nothing like a conversation other than just business talk . Much as they had been married for long , it always seems like she distances herself everyday , she becomes a robot now and then . Andrew knows or thinks that now days he tries to make Valerie as comfortable as possible or try to open up to her .
                   " Mr Smith " the Secretary called
                   " yes " he replied
                   " Mrs Smith really worries about you , today morning she was so concerned so please ..."
                   " I know , but I hurt her earlier after the meeting " Andrew said
                   " it was not what I wanted to say , but I panicked , i feared what she was going to say so I replied recklessly ." he sadly said .
For sure Andrew knew that a lot he has done to Valerie not even sure that he will give the best apology and if he does will she ever consider it or even get a place in her heart .
Like everyone no is not perfect and Andrew is not any different he has his flaws as well , like being the very jealous kind ,and yes he is very possessive and short tempered where by all the anger takes control of him sometimes and he does what he regrets after he is done ,okay true he is abusive he beats her up , what makes him not a monster is that he is filled  with guilt of how he has treated her not right .
              And for sure he is concerned about Valerie , he cares and affected by her actions , he knows more than anyone that he is not the best at all the care and passion but it's there .
            " Drive " Andrew said to the secretary .
            " to where sir " the secretary asked .
            " to my father's company " he said
            " I will handle the documents I have been avoiding and not wanting to do for the last three months " Andrew said .
I times like this Andrew does what he knows best , it's to burry himself in work till he is over his emotions or too busy to think about his troubles.
            " yes sir " the secretary agreed driving away .

             " Andrew " the father called in surprise as Andrew almost called at his office door .
             " father , father in law " Andrew called on turning.
It was no surprise that Valerie's father was here , the two men were like brothers hence decided to marry off there kids together so there bond can be strengthened yet for the unsaid reason was to keep the wealth within the circle .
              " let's go inside ". Mr Smith (Andrew's father said)
              " you don't fine " Mr McAvoy said to Andrew as they entered
               " am fine " Andrew lied as they all sat in the comfortable seats .
              " unhappy husband makes the whole family unhappy " Mr Smith said .
Andrew let out a heavy sigh , he is never used to taking about his problems , no one even gave him the listening ears when he needed it so it's hard to prove him that they are really interested in being there for him.
               " am okay , I just wanted the documents of that small company you wanted to invest in " Andrew said .
               " is Leon the problem " Mr McAvoy asked . Wow, the fuck how did he know does he read minds somehow .
               " Who is Leon " Mr Smith asked
               " a long term friend of Valerie that is back in town " Mr McAvoy said
               " I have been given a report that they meet secretly for personal matters " Mr McAvoy said
               " I know Leon , together with Valerie we are handling some business " Andrew said .
               " a smallest bather can cause the biggest problems " Mr Smith said
               " I will handle my family problems " Andrew said
               " you are our son Andrew , making us family " Mr Smith shouted angrily
              " I know that, but this is my marriage my wife , I don't even remember saying Leon was a problem I can't handle " Andrew said
his voice a bit harsh .
               " you know husbands tend to want to give their wives that space for freedom , but Andrew our families have no space for such freedom that's the greatest mistake to let grow " Mr McAvoy said .
                " it's very okay , thank you for the concern, Leon is actually of a great use to me " Andrew said
                " shall I have the documents " Andrew asked .
                 " we shall see about that " Mr Smith said
                " but if things go out of hand we shall handle it " Mr McAvoy.
For a good reason , Andrew's silence to their  statement shows how exactly the things could be handled.