WHAT IF

53

             I watched Andrew sleep for while, this time he slept sound, I would say a bit comfortable. There was a knock on the door, and another.
          "It's Dr Lee." he said loudly .
          "Come in." I said, I was glad he showed up, I have been waiting to know the results.  
           "Valerie, we have met twice in a day " he said trying to to joke.
          "I am not the patient this time round." I said.
          "I don't see any much of physical injuries"I said immediately.
         "It was an accident but not one we should worry about." Dr Lee said.
        "He has nothing like inner blood clots, no injuries in the head, he was lucky." Dr Lee said.
I breathed out heavily, really glad there was nothing to worry about.
        "Thank you." I said to Dr Lee
        "I should actually be thanking you, he seemed to be so stressed earlier, I told him to rest but he wouldn't allow, just thankful that finally he is." Dr Lee said.
Maybe because he was too burdened to rest then, looking at him like this keeps me wondering if it's just pity that I have on him or there was more.

        Till I was relieved and relaxed, I stood up opening the door.
        "How is he?" Miss Ann asked. They all seemed tensed wondering if he was fine.
        "He is fine, no injuries, maybe just tired and stressed." I said with a smile.
       "The doctor prescribed him sleep." I added
They all breathed out heavily, their moods even got better.
       "Can we enter and see him?" Jordy asked
       "Yes, of course" I said then opened the door for them. They entered as I got out, Leon remained behind looking at me.
      "Won't you enter and see him?" I asked him
      "I am only here because I drove you here." He said.
      "You even seem to be in a better mood." he added.I smiled at him as he smiled as well.
      "But your eyes show that you were crying." he said. I immediately covered my eyes massaging them a bit.
      "Why would I cry?" I asked him
      "I don't know you tell m " Leon said.
      "Maybe because seeing your husband inside there made you cry" Leon added .
I laughed looking at him. He held my hand leading the way.
      "Where are we going?" i asked following him.
      "To just walk around in the VIP section, I know it has nice gardens on the roof top." Leon said. I just smiled going a long, we got into the elevator till the rooftop. We sat by the benches looking at the buildings beyond.
      "You feel something deeper for Andrew, don't you?" he broke the silence saying, his question almost made me get chocked on my saliva. I looked at him not knowing exactly what to say.
      "Before he was just a stranger maybe what you felt hadn't fully developed but now it's there and it's getting hard to hide." Leon added. He seatmed a little sad to saying all this.
      " Leon.."
      "Seeing you panic today, crying over him, defending him and using the phrase 'us' was not like you."
      "I know that, if possible I could ask for your help. To help me put a name to this that I am feeling towards Andrew"
      "Maybe you know but you just don't want to admit to yourself." Leon said like he was reading my thoughts. His words I had to think about hard. He turned looking at me.
      "I am sorry." was all that came out of my mouth. He swallowed hard looking more miserable, he giggled a bit, then leaned behind.
      "That is what I never ever wanted to hear from you." Leon said. Before I could say anything, his phone rang, he got it out of his pocket looking at it.
      "I have to go, this is urgent." Leon said.
      "Go." I said and he rushed away.
   I remained seated thinking through everything. Yet not for long Stephanie came sitting besides me. We remained silent for a while both of us looking for what to say but obviously I was not going to speak to her first
       "I am sorry." she broke the silence saying.
       "Pardon?" I said really surprised.
       "I am really sorry for making things awkward the night I was at Andrew's office." She said sounding really apologetic.
       "It really didn't mean anything, I hope you can find it in your heart to forgive me, there is nothing going on between Andrew and I, apart from being friends." she said. I looked at her then found myself smiling, and she smiled as well.
       "It's okay." I said with a smile, she breathed out heavily.
      "Andrew would avoid me for like years if you hadn't forgiven me." she said. I giggled at this.
      "Why?" I asked.
      "He doesn't want anything to annoy you or make you feel bothered." she said. According to how she talked, she seemed to know me. Even earlier as she spoke.
      "You seem to know me." I said.
      "I do, I have heard a lot about you and seen you in pictures, Marco and I wouldn't wait to see you in person." she smiled. I smiled at hearing this and even got more comfortable.
      "I met Marco recently." I smiled. She turned at me smiling.
      "Yes and he won the bet, we had betted at who will meet you first." she smiled.
      "Unfortunately I blew my chance by starting off badly." she said.
      "It's okay, we are here now." I smiled.
      "You're really all he says you are." She looked at me with admiration.
      "Am not exactly sure they are nice things." I said.
      " ' My wife is the most beautiful, she is sweet, kind and the most understanding. she is lovely, with a beautiful smile, when you meet her you will know there is no one like her. ' " she said imitating him. I laughed, I was happy at the words he said and how she imitated him. she laughed with me as well. we all sat leaning behind.
      "I really thought you liked Andrew, I am sorry." I said.
      "I like him but just as a friend." she said.
      "It's Marco." she said.
      "What?!....." I asked laughing.
      "See, that's exactly my point, I have always liked him but he is never serious with anything, not there when I need him, yet I can't stop liking him." she sadly said.
We laughed together.
      "Well tell him, maybe then he will get serious with you as well." I said.
      "I am scared." she said.
      "Just do it, you're beautiful, smart, you're a full package, what could go wrong?" I said
      "Rejecting me and still putting me in a friend zone." she said.
      "Then we shall know he is an ass hole for rejecting a woman like you." I said. We laughed still at that, maybe being with her was after all not bad.
       "Thank you." she said. I looked at her, she seemed so touched to say that.
       "For what exactly?" I asked
       "For being the reason Andrew started wanting to live." She smiled. I didn't have what to say at this, I have as well just learned that I became his reason to live.
       "How did you meet him?" I asked. She seemed to know a lot more about him and his conditions.
       "In Italy, in the mental hospital, him and Marco were patients by then." she said.
       "My father is the owner of that hospital, he is also a doctor there, he used to take me with him to work, he always wanted me to follow his footsteps." she added.
      "He must be proud of you." I said .
      "He has just started to be proud, instead of following his footsteps I made two best friends out of his patients, I followed my mother's footsteps, business." she said. I smiled at her, I could see the openness and honesty she carried.
       "As long as you're happy doing it." I said
       "I am happy but do you know what's even better?, talking to a fellow girl, I was so fed up of boys." she smiled
       "I even got the chance to talk about my crush for Marco." she added, she seamed so pumped about it. I laughed, I'm also happy to have her.
       "I am glad to be talking to you as well." I smiled.
       "Friends?...." She looked at me with a smile, not planned and expected but I can definitely be her friend. I giggled then moved close pulling her in for a hug. This is so wonderful, my husband's friends becoming mine as well. Jordy, Hayden, Marco and now Stephanie. I am really hoping mine become his as well but that definitely is going to be so hard. She laughed while hugging me as well .
       "How long are you going to stay here before you go back to Italy?" I asked her, I was immediately thinking of introducing her to Amanda maybe have some fun together.
       "The more reasons u give me to stay, the longer I stay." she said .
       "What about business?" I asked
       "Well, I can have some here, by your help. Andrew told me you're very good at it." she said. Every single thing about her I liked, her vibes were hyped, she wakes up something in me and I like it. I now really know, I can definitely have a good friend like her. The joy that comes from her spreads even to me. I like that she is jolly, very easy and also easy to be with her. I can also tell that she is open to herself, to everyone around her, maybe I can learn a lot from her.
       "I would love to help." I agreed to help her with business in case she ever wants to start one.
      "Thank you." She smiled reaching for my hand holding it tight.
The smile she gives is irresistible not to return, I smiled widely back to her.
      "I have a friend of mine I would like to introduce you to" I said.
Stephanie looked at me with surprise yet full of joy.
      "I thought I would have to work for that." she said.
      "To work for what?" I asked in confusion.
      "To earn being introduced to your other friends because that means we shall get more close." She said. I could not stop laughing. I do not know many things but I at least know you don't have to work to be someone's friend. It's like buying a friendship.
       "When you like someone, like I have liked you.."
       "And I already liked you before you knew me." she interrupted saying, I giggled a bit.
       "Yes, since we like each other and we seem to have connected immediately, then all we have to do is to invest time in each other to grow this beginning friendship." I said with a smile. Stephanie seemed really happy at this.
       "You seem not to have a lot of friends?" I asked
      "Yes just Marco and Andrew." she said.
      "But how, you're really nice, who wouldn't want to be your friend?" I said in disbelief.
      "My being nice became an advantage to many so I had to change and the other reason was that I spent most of the time at my parents work place." she said, her smile disappeared at this.
      "I am the only child to my parents, they pumped me, others say I was spoilt yet I was so nice so some friends like the money and spoilt side of me but not me as a person." she added.
      "Your kindness, sympathy, fame and money is what they used against you." I said sadly.
      "Yes, most people said my kindness was just a show, others believed I only did what I did, what I called caring only because I took them for beggars 'cause I had the money." Stephanie sadly said.
      "For me to fit in and be accepted by those I called friends, I had to hide my name, I had to stop showing my money or even talking about who I was and where I was from, every time and then, they took it that the real me was intimidating and a competition. Every thing about me was a problem." Stephanie sadly said
      "So I changed, I was tired of them making me feel bad and hating who I was, I had to put me first, I had to love me and everything God gave me, I had to accept myself." she smiled, this brought a smile on my face .
      "I didn't change to the worst, I just stopped beating myself down to please others, I stopped allowing myself to be treated the way I was treated, I deserved more." Stephanie smiled, I held her hand tight with a smile.
      "You did well." I said. Though feeling pity and sad for myself of how I have been putting me last before others, of how I had to please others even if it required changing who I was.
      "I believe true people are those who love you with everything you have got, whether flaws or what makes you better, true people love and cherish who you truly are." Stephanie said.
      "It must have been hard." I said with a smile, I said this to Stephanie but it was like a confession to me, putting me first is really hard.
      "At first it was, a lot will change and many will begin to hate you for the person you're becoming, then the fear and loneliness come in as well but that was for a while." she smiled, I could see how happy she was talking about her journey and achievements, she must be proud of her self.
      "It took setting boundaries of how much I shall allow to take on, loving me, being selfish, others said I was turning to being a cold mean person but I did not mind, I then began being happy, got the respect I deserved, the right people also came in, Marco and Andrew, they rightfully loved me, and here you are as well." she smiled .
       "When my ex boyfriend began crossing the boundaries, the disrespect came in, much as I loved him, I could not allow to be treated that way." she added. It seamed like she was giving me more than necessary information about her for a person I have just met and we are just beginning to be friends, but that's maybe what I needed to hear. This even made me happy for her, to know your value, Stephanie definitely knows hers but I don't, and that's something I am going to learn, I really hope.