WHAT IF

44

           " Mrs Smith .." Emma quietly called . I removed my eyes from Andrew and lady , whom i strongly think its Stephanie. I made small footsteps away from the door then turned walking away slowly . This was just making my thoughts and suspicions so true . But now it was like i thought , i didn't know what to do . Would i have entered act like i saw nothing , or walk away like i have now . I walked till his office , i entered then sat in the sofas , my whole head was spinning , my legs were weak , filled with a lot of emotions that i could not explain .
Now that i have confirmed should i talk to him about it , or keep it to myself and continue with life .
Then why would Andrew kiss , hold me like its whole he ever wanted yet he is in love with her , right now and with out lying even tomorrow , i may yarn for his touch , kiss .
Tears flooded in my eyes , at the back of my mind i knew i had no right to be angry about this , i may be his wife but i have no right . Being here in this situation reminded me of the time when Andrew found me kissing Leon , did he feel like this , though i believe mine is more painful because now Andrew has imprinted himself on my mind , he has become someone i crave for .
               " Mrs SMITH..." Loudly Emma called driving me out of my deep thoughts .
I turned looking at him, he was looking at me very vulnerably .
              " Are you okay " he softly asked me . i just continued looking at him , my brain processing his words at a very slow rate .
             " what !!!!!" I said , almost bursting out in tears .
             " i am so sorry " Emma softly said .
              " i ...have to ....go "i said standing up. I placed the food flask on
the table. I didn't trust my hands carrying the food or anything.
              " I will escort you home " Emma said .
              " no , no ..." I said the walked away , Emma opened the door for me  swiftly i walked out , at this moment i didn't want to blink , tears would immediately start to drop .
               " Val...." The voice i know well called . I stood looking in the direction of the meeting room where Andrew and the lady i suspect to be Steph were coming from. She was holding his hand tight like they were a married beautiful couple walking down the aisle , to be exactly honest she looked so good with him , they were perfectly fitted .
Andrew dropped her hand rushing to me . As he come close i wondered if i should be happy that he is rushing to me leaving her behind , because he is still rightfully lawfully mine , my husband . Much he was standing before me, my eyes were at the beautiful one standing far behind him , my eyes locked with hers wishing i could let her know that 'much as her hands were wrapped around him then , he is still coming back to me , where he should be and that he is mine , rightfully , lawfully and publicly . ' yet i still can not because his heart is behind there with her .

               " Valerie ..." Andrew called reaching out for my hand , i swiftly made a step back before he touched me . He turned looking back at her quickly then back to my teary eyes .
              " Valerie that's Stephanie" he in way as he figured why i was in this state but that couldn't justify the situation.
              " i figured " i hardly breathed out holding in my tears .
Like i was taught and expected of my mother and the Smith family , i should be graceful , understanding , enduring and not let stupid emotions drive me exactly what i am trying to do but i can't , i really can't , i want to shout , cry out loud , question him , throw stuff till they break .
               " VALERIE.." He called .
I pushed back my hair to the behind breathing in hard ,
               " i have to go" i sobbed then rushed away  
               " HEY!!!!....VALERIE......" He called following me from the behind . My footsteps got faster , bigger to elevator , praying it closes before he catches up.
              "Va..." As soon as he reached than then elevator door closed .
Jordy was in the car seated waiting for me . I hurriedly opened the door getting .
              "Valerie , what is wrong " in concern he asked .
              " start the car ," i ordered
              " Vale....."
              " START..the car " i didn't give him the chance to say more . Immediately , silently he started the car , i looked behind at Andrew who was standing outside his building , he seamed frustrated at himself .
I slowly turned leaning back gently , i breathed out heavily , i closed my eyes not wanting to start crying in front of Jordy . Much as my eyes are closed i could feel his eyes on me through the front mirror .
I wanted to cry even more because i felt like i was being petty , i was acting childish and stupid .