Chapter 47 - Loving You

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Rowan had barely slept that night. She wanted to blame it all on nausea, after all, she had left the potion Madam Pomfrey had given her. Though, even she knew that wasn't all that was wrong. There was a giant hole in her heart left by Severus Snape; the potions professor she had fallen deeply and madly in love with. As if being away from him wasn't hard enough, the link she had to him in her own mind was only playing tricks against her. She would suddenly smell his cologne or fresh parchment that reminded Rowan of him. 

There came a knock on Rowan's door like there had been every hour since she had returned. It had only been a few days, but Rowan still didn't leave her old bedroom. It hadn't felt right to; every time she had seen those walls outside of her room she was taken back to when she walked them with Severus. Everything; every smell, every view, every breath. They all reminded her of Severus. Before Rowan knew it, there came yet another knock. Furrowing her brow, Rowan threw the covers off of her and quickly found her robe. Aida never knocked more than once, Rowan thought as she tightened a soft robe around her. 

"Aida, I'm-," Rowan began, being cut off by the face in front of her. Just before she could slam the door, his strong hands caught it. "Rowan, please," Severus said. His voice sounded broken, and that only made Rowan's heart tighten more than it had been before. Pursing her lips, Rowan turned around and sat down on her bed and nodding for Severus to join her. 

Severus sat down on the bed, his stature was stiff; awkward. "Did you not get my note?" Rowan asked as she looked at him. His eyes were staring at the door, and Rowan could tell he just wanted to leave. "And your wand," Severus added, placing Rowan's wand on the bed beside him. Rowan scoffed and grabbed her wand, placing it on the nightstand beside her. "Why are you here, Severus?" Rowan inquired with venom in her words. 

Severus almost flinched at her words, and Rowan almost immediately regretted it. She didn't want to hurt him, she just wished things had gone differently. "Listen, if you're here to get your stuff-"

"Get my stuff? Why would I need to gather my things from you?" Severus' words spread the emotion that Rowan had felt when he had left. His words sounded like that of a man with his heart shattering into unfixable pieces. "Rowan, are we not together? My things are your things," Severus pushed further, his eyes finally snapping away from the door and meeting Rowan's. Rowan watched as Severus gasped at the sight of her. Turning her head away from him, she shifted awkwardly. 

Hesitantly, Severus grabbed Rowan's cheek and turned her face so that she was looking at him. "Have you not been taking the potion I gave Poppy?" Severus asked, his thumb stroking the side of her face. Rowan couldn't help but lean into his touch; it was what she had been wanting this entire time. Rowan shook her head, sighing as her body relaxed. "I've made you so sick," Severus said under his breath as he tried to pull away from her face. Quickly grabbing his hand, keeping it where it had been, Rowan shook her head. "Don't. Please," Rowan almost begged. Pursing his lips, Severus nodded and moved closer. He took his hand from her face and placed it on her stomach, surprising Rowan.

"When did- how-," Severus tried, but his words failed him. With a small smile, Rowan placed her hand over Severus'. "I'm so sorry this happened," Rowan whispered, the familiar nauseous feeling coming back. Severus shook his head, smiling back at Rowan. A smile, just a smile, was all Rowan had ever wanted. "You shouldn't be, my love. Well- loves," Severus chuckled as he smiled adoringly into Rowan's eyes. The look he had in his eyes- it was different; It was safe. "I saw my mother," Severus said, placing his hand back by his side.

Rowan raised her eyebrows in surprise; that was the last thing she was expecting him to do. "I wasn't sure who had gone through this- situation. She was the only one I could think of," Severus admitted sheepishly. Rowan understood as she had gone to Bellatrix for the same reason. "We need to prepare. We haven't got a crib or any outfits! They'll need books and robes for school and-"

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