August 24th- Book One in the May 3rd series

Chapter 64- momentary break time cause SHIT I think I'm finally tired?

Warnings ⚠: Child Abuse, Rape, Violence, Religion, Drug Use, Alcohol Use, Use of Slurs, Homophobia, Bullying, Mention of Suicide, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicidal Actions, Gun Use.

Josiah's P.O.V.

-Friday, November 12th-

I pull my sleeves over my hands, watching Damien intently.

He's been sitting with me for around an hour.

I don't know why he isn't leaving now, but I don't know why he left earlier, either.

When I got into his car... I thought he was going to kill me. Then he started yelling and I prepared myself as much as I could for whatever he was going to do.

But I wasn't prepared for him to leave.

We tried calling him and he didn't answer, and...

I thought he killed himself.

As soon as he left, all I could do was freak out. Screaming and crying and doing nothing to help with anything, as usual.

Because all I do is ruin things.

But Damien doesn't want to get mad because he doesn't want me to be scared.

I did exactly what he told me not to do.

Why won't he just beat me up so I don't have to panic anymore?

This is all just building up. It's going to be really bad...

If I cross the line again...

We'll see.

I'm not usually wrong when predicting behavior.

I can't even talk to him about it. Because he gets so defensive about everything and acts like every analysis on him is a problem, like I'm complaining.

Whatever he does is okay. As long as he doesn't kill himself.

I scrape my nails along the back of my hand.

I wish he would just go out and talk to Pierre. I wish he would leave me alone so I wouldn't have to worry about him being here.

He tries to change the ways I calm myself down a lot.

He doesn't like me hurting myself.

It doesn't make sense.

"..." I stop and clench my fists instead, figuring he probably can't see it this way, "Damien...?"

"What's up?"

"Do you wanna move now?"

"No, thank you."

"Aren't you bored?"

"No. I'm listening to music. It's nice to just relax for a second. Actually, I have something for you."

There's something wrong with him.

"I don't want..." I mutter, trailing off.

"Dog of the day!" He announces.

I sigh. "Okay...?"

"Today we have a Dalmatian. They're polkadotty and I love them very much. If I had one, I would name it Stripe, 'cause irony." He holds his phone out to me.

"Aren't they born without spots?" I recall.

I loved animal books...

"They are? That's cool. I didn't know that."