August 24th- Book One in the May 3rd series

Chapter 19- Butts

Warnings ⚠: Child Abuse, Rape, Violence, Religion, Drug Use, Alcohol Use, Use of Slurs, Homophobia, Bullying, Mention of Suicide, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicidal Actions, Gun Use

Damien's P.O.V.

-Friday, September 22-

After we made the mac-n-cheese, he insisted we study.

I watch him carefully as he sits beside me, pulling his books from his bag... Something seems different about him today.

He's more...relaxed.

I watch him flip through his math book, "Alright. Let's start."

"Right. Sorry." I tear my eyes away from him and pull my books and my notebook from my bag, sitting them on the table.

He begins explaining something to me, but as hard as I try to focus on his words, I can't.
I'm too distracted...by him.

How his slender fingers turn the pages carefully, as if afraid to rip them...

How intently he has to stare at the words because of how shit his eyes are...

How he'll reach up and absentmindedly push his glasses up...

His bright blue eyes taking everything in with an heir of excitement...

I rest my head on my hand, my elbow sitting on the table, letting my mind wander.

I didn't want to study today. I have a grasp on this topic, actually.

But I wanted to see him.

My eyes trail down to his button nose and then to his lips.

They look...soft.

I can't help but wonder how they would feel against mine.

How those hands would feel on my bare back as I pin him down. How his slender neck would feel under my lips. How he would feel if he was mine....

"You're so sexy." I mutter before I can stop myself.

SHIT.

SHIT. SHIT. SHIT.

I don't... What the actual fuck...?

Shit.

I clamp a hand over my mouth and stare at him, wide eyed.

"...What?" He questions, looking up at me.

"I didn't..." I stutter, "I don't... Sorry."

God, I'm so stupid. "Nothing. I didn't say anything." I feel my cheeks heat up.

"You said sexy... Y-You actually just called me sexy."

"No. I didn't. I very much didn't." Maybe if I keep denying it.

Fuck.

Why the fuck would I say that?

"You did. I heard you. Why would you say something like that?!" He looks upset.

"I...I didn't mean to! I'm sorry!" I instantly get defensive.

Shit. I fucked this up big time.

"It just...slipped out..."

"No. You... Don't s-say that about me. Don't say it or think it." He says.

"You're not allowed to tell me what I think," I stand up abruptly, "I'm taking you home. C'mon."