August 24th- Book One in the May 3rd series

Chapter 17- A G A Y I N

Warnings ⚠: Child Abuse, Rape, Violence, Religion, Drug Use, Alcohol Use, Use of Slurs, Homophobia, Bullying, Mention of Suicide, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicidal Actions, Gun Use

Damien's P.O.V

-Thursday, September 16th-

"I...don't want to lose you. But, if it keeps you safe then, I guess it's what we have to do. I have to go. I'll...see you around. Walker."

I stuff my hands in my pockets and head away from him, farther into the school.

I don't think I'm going in the right direction for my next class. In fact, I'm going the wrong way.

It doesn't matter.

I go into the boys' bathroom to sulk, but there's people in here...

I could make them leave, but I don't have the energy.

I just...can't process what just happened.

When did Josiah Walker mean something to me?

Why is this so hard all of the sudden?

I'm going home.

I don't care anymore. I'm going home.

I wait in the bathroom for the bell to ring, and once it does, I sneak out and ride home quickly, ready for a drink...or twenty.

Pierre's car is in the driveway, but of course my parents are gone.

I wonder what all he has to do in a day anymore.

To be honest, looking after an empty house everyday seems really fucking boring.

Either way, I need to just get something to drink and go hide in my room, away from him.

I go inside and Pierre is nowhere to be seen.

I grab some random bottles from our always well stocked liquor cabinet, and I take them upstairs, going quickly.

I drop my book bag onto the floor and sit on my couch, opening the first bottle and beginning to drink it.

All I can think about is him...

Why the fuck does it hurt so badly?

After all, we were only friends.

Friends.

That's all we ever would have been, despite what I thought I wanted.

I could walk into that school, and pretty much get with any girl that I want, but none of them are interesting to me anymore.

I want him.

I liked being his friend, too.

How his eyes would light up when I would get him chicken nuggets or something else as equally stupid...

How his face would go red when I would call him cute...

And, oh my God, he's so fucking cute.

Every single time he would lean over me to check my work during tutoring...

I wanted to kiss him.

I... I can't keep this up.

I lay on my couch, which is too small for me to be laying on it, so my legs dangle over the armrest, but whatever.

It works.