August 24th- Book One in the May 3rd series

Chapter 41- h e l l o t h e r e

Warnings ⚠: Child Abuse, Rape, Violence, Religion, Drug Use, Alcohol Use, Use of Slurs, Homophobia, Bullying, Mention of Suicide, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicidal Actions, Gun Use

Damien's P.O.V.

-Monday, October 25th-

After I take Josiah home, I get him something to eat. Then he fell asleep on my couch with a fluffy blanket.

I honestly wouldn't be surprised if he slept the rest of the day.

I still can't wrap my head around... Everything that happened today.

If I think about it, it hurts, and if I don't think about it, I'm worrying about everything else that's falling apart around me. Which is every fucking thing.

So, as soon as he passes out, I grab some bourbon from the cabinet and I take it upstairs.

I sit on my bed and just watch him as he's sleeping.
Despite my exhaustion, I couldn't get to sleep.

I take a drink and stare at my wall, trying desperately to figure out what to do.

I don't know how, but Josiah cannot go home.

I can't do that.

I feel tears form in my eyes and I hold them back.

I can't do this.

It's too much.

Everything is too much.

I take another drink, hoping it will calm me down, but, if anything, it makes me worry more.

What will we do tomorrow? What do I do when Josiah finds out I drink literally every day?

What do I do when I have to tell my parents Josiah is living here now? They can't know we're together...or we'll both be out on the curb...or worse.

It feels like someone is sitting on my chest.

I can't breathe. I... I-

The pain in my head comes back, and I grab both sides of my head, squeezing tightly.

I need to quit thinking.

I need a distraction.

I run my hands through my hair and grab my guitar.

I take the guitar and alcohol and go into the bathroom, locking the door.

I sit on the side of the tub and I play quietly so he doesn't wake up.

He needs his rest.

He shouldn't have to worry about this, and me, too.

I can't wrap my mind around today.

My fingers find the strings desperately and no matter what, every song I play is sounding as scared as I feel. I continue playing, each song getting faster and faster, trying to relax.

It doesn't work.

I sit the guitar down.

Nothing is working anymore.

I feel a sob escape my throat, and I quickly put a hand over my mouth to quiet myself.

I put my earbuds in and blast music at full volume.

My last resort.

I hold the bottle in my hands and stare at it.

I then stay sitting there until I've finished the entire thing. Once I'm done, I sit the bottle on my counter and stumble to the bed..