August 24th- Book One in the May 3rd series

Chapter 20- yoat a goat??

Warnings ⚠: Child Abuse, Rape, Violence, Religion, Drug Use, Alcohol Use, Use of Slurs, Homophobia, Bullying, Mention of Suicide, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicidal Actions, Gun Use

Josiah's P.O.V.

-Wednesday, September 29th-

I leave the school and try to find someone in all black.

"Damien."

"Walker." He greets.

"That's not the right thing to say if you're trying to make up." I remind him.

I'm upset.

I'm scared.

"Sorry. Hi, Josiah. I hope your day didn't suck too hard."

"Not enough. But okay."

We get into the car.

I strap my seat belt on and stare at him. "Seat belt."

"Okay." I hear a click. "Is that apology enough for you?"

"No."

"Oh. I'm sorry?" He says again, starting the car.

"You don't even know what you're apologizing for." I complain.

I don't think he understands why this is a problem.

"I'm apologizing for the incident."

"Which was...?"

"Me saying...the thing. I'm sorry."

"Why did you say it? I thought you wanted us to be friends." I go on.

"I...didn't mean to say it."

"Do you really think it, though? For real? Because we can't hang out if you do."

Maybe I shouldn't tell him that part. Now he's just going to lie.

Like he does all the time.

"No. I don't."

"Really? I'm serious."

"It's not a problem. Really. I don't know why I said it."

Whether it was consciously or not, he thinks it. That's the only reason he would say it.

"Do you usually say it for no reason even though you don't think it?"

He sighs, "Can't we just forget about it? I've apologized, like, ten times. I'm sorry, okay?"

"I can't forget it. I don't know what to do."

"Just ignore it? Talk about anything else?"

I can't stop thinking about it.

"I don't know what else to talk about. I'm upset." I mutter.

"Have you ever had cheese-it's?"

"Stop it with the cheese!"

"No! They're so good! I had them all the time as a kid. Or goldfish crackers? Lit."

"I feel like you had everything all the time as a kid."

"Yeah. I'm spoiled. My parents just do it 'cause they feel guilty about not being around, probably."

No kidding, he's spoiled...

I look out the window at all the houses passing by.

I still can't stop thinking of what he said...