August 24th- Book One in the May 3rd series

Chapter 39- O_O

Warnings ⚠: Child Abuse, Rape, Violence, Religion, Drug Use, Alcohol Use, Use of Slurs, Homophobia, Bullying, Mention of Suicide, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicidal Actions, Gun Use

Damien's P.O.V.

-Friday, October 22nd-

When I get the text from Josiah telling me everything is fine, I breathe a sigh of relief. For once, things are going our way.

About fucking time.

I can't believe I was so careless. I really need to watch myself. I've been slipping up lately.

I drive home, and as soon as I get home, I sneak over to the liquor cabinet and look at my options.

Wine. Vodka. Scotch.

I shrug to myself and grab a bottle of wine.

What the fuck, I could use a drink.

I take it upstairs and don't even bother with a glass. As if I'm not going to finish the bottle.

I sit in my bed and begin drinking.

Once I start drinking, I can't turn off my mind.

All of my worries swirl around in my head and make it turn to mush.

What will I do about my parents? If they catch me and Josiah...or if they find out that I don't want to be a part of the business...

What about Ethan and Hunter? And Logan?

How do I know that they're not just planning something?

I take another drink of my wine.

It's so sweet.

I have so much to worry about.

And Josiah...

God. I always have to be so, so careful with him.

So gentle.

It's not in my nature to be gentle.

But the only alternative is driving him away.

I can't be without him. I can't.

I take another drink, deciding to climb onto the roof to look at the stars.

I really like it out there. It's so quiet, except for the occasional sounds of the city around me.

I stand up and stumble a little bit. I look at the wine bottle and see it's already half empty. I shrug and open my window. The cold air feels so nice. I don't even need a jacket.

I climb out and onto my roof. I sit there, enjoying the silence and my drink. Hopefully, if I finish this off, I can actually sleep for a second.

Hopefully...

...

-Monday, October 25th-

I try to contact Josiah all weekend, but I can't get a hold of him.

I keep thinking about just showing up at his house, but he doesn't want his dad knowing about us...

I can't do that to him.

If he doesn't show up to school, then I'm allowed to worry.

He wouldn't skip unless he was really messed up...or dead.