Two Missing Daughters

Chapter 24

Photo: Anastasia,Tatiana and Alexei 1910

15 December 1910 Alexander Palace

All 6 of us was decorating the christmas tree we also crafted paper stars and putted our names and our wishes on the christmas tree. "What did you wish for?" Maria asked out of the blue "I wont tell but i hope it comes true" I smiled. "Can you pick me up so i can put my star on the tree?" Alexei asked, i looked at him and agreed, i picked him up and he placed his star on the christmas tree. Papa secretly took a photo of us together and showed it to Mama. She putted her hand in her chest and smiled.

We all sat brainstorming about what to gift everyone. I already have an idea but im not going to tell because its a surprise. Grandmama is going to visit us later for tea. Sony and Joy are playing outside. Sony has grown from a little pup to a grown up but he's still small like Anastasia, just kidding of course. I sat outside playing with Sony the orchestra is playing graceful music i danced to the melody with Sony in my arms. Anastasia came up to me and asked, "Help me hide from Olga!" She exclaimed "Why? What did you do?" I questioned her "I splatted her clothes with paint now she's chasing me like a hungry lion!" She answered. "No, you have to apologize to her right now" i said "But im scared what if she gets mad?" She cried out "Its okay she wont get mad lets go" i said leading her to Olga.

We ran up to Olga with a disappointed face "Olishka im sorry for staining your dress i'll wash it!" Anastasia looked up to Olga "Its okay Nastya no need to wash it" Olga pulled her in for a hug. "Olga,Sofia,Nastenka! Grandmama is here!" Tatiana shouted. We ran back inside the Palace but Olga headed back to our room to change her clothes while me and Anastasia headed to the living rooms.

We bursted in the door and hugged Grandma tightly. Grandma squeezed Anastasia's cheek while she patted my head. "How are my granddaughters?" She smiled. "We're fine!" Anastasia answered. Sony came in the room and jumped at grandma "Who's dog is this?" She asked "He's my dog! His name is Sony!" I answered picking him up. "Hello Sony your so cute" Grandma carried him in her arms and gave him a belly rub. Mama and Papa was nowhere in sight, Olga is still in her room changing.

"My dear Granddaughter's i have an early Christmas gift for all of you!" Grandma exclaimed as she brought out the gifts. We all smiled and proceeded to open our gifts. We got a necklace and a bracelet with our initials in it. "Thank you so much grandma!" Maria exclaimed putting on the bracelet. "No problem Malenkaya" grandma smiled.

We had tea in the balcony Papa was out for a meeting again and doesn't come back until christmas i decided to write a letter for him.

My dear Papa,

"I have missed you already how are you doing in Petrogad? Hows the weather? Is it super cold or just fine? Grandmama visited today for tea she also gave us a necklace and a bracelet with our initials in it! It was beautiful she also had a gift for you i dont know what it is but i think its a wonderful gift. Anastasia wanted to open it luckily i caught her and stopped her. Alexei's doing great he's playing in the snow with joy. Mama is sick again she has been put into bed rest for almost a whole day! Its sad that she can't join us in our activities. Papa when you come back here bring us lots and lots of chocolates please! Well not that much. I love you so much Papa keep safe and may God be with you at all times."

-God's faithful servant, Sofia.

I finished writing to him i putted the letter to a envelope and signed it and finished my tea and pancakes i had a few but Tatiana had 4 she was so full she couldn't even move. "Tanushka come walk with me to burn those fat" i invited, she smiled and stood up to join me in walking.

"How's the officers family?" She asked "Oh they're doing fine well i hope so" i answered "Can you tell me their address? I want to write to them and say my condolences" She looked at me "His family lives in Yekaterinburg" i answered. "Thanks i'll write to them later" she smiled. "When we crossed Nikolai Ipatiev's house i felt a bad feeling, my shoulder was hurting a lot that i needed a massage before we went home!" I exclaimed "Maybe its because of the cold temperature" Tatiana said, "I think so, because i also gave my jacket to a homeless man and i haven't had a jacket on for a long time" i stated "Told you" she smiled "Lets go bring Mama some tea" she smiled.

We grabbed some bread and tea and headed to Mama's sick room "My dear daughters how are you?" She looked at us "We're fine we're here to bring you some tea" I smiled handing over the tea for her. "Can you read for me Tatiana?" Mama asked "of course what book do you want?" Tatiana smiled. Mama pointed to a book in the shelf. Tatiana stood up and grabbed the book and started reading to her. The whole time it was just them talking not including me. Im like a ghost im here but they dont notice my presence, its like im not loved. "THIS IS NOT FAIR!" i yelled and ran outside the room dropping the bread to the ground.

I ran in a random room and bursted they're crying. Why is it always Tatiana? Why not me? Why not both of us? Probably because Tatiana understood her situation more that she favoured her more than any of us except her baby Alexei. I ran back in our room wiping my tears away. I grabbed a paper and a pen and started writing.

Mama,

Do you love me? Do you love your daughter's? Or just Tatiana? Mom its always her in everything! Why not me? Mama its like im a ghost! Im there but you dont notice me! Does Tatiana have the perks we dont have? Mama im tired of some people ignoring me! Can i just have a mother love? Father's love? Am i a disappointment in your eyes? Because it seems like it, i broke a vase by accident then you punish me. You scold me for the simplest things ever. Its like neither of you love me.

-Sofia, The parents disappointment kid, right?

I finished writing my letter i folded it and went to take a little nap.

"AHHH! i screamed in pain as the man with a long beard approaches me with a pistol in hands. He looks at me dead in the eyes and pointed a gun to my head " Its the end of the Romanovs, Goodbye Sofia Romanova" he muttered as he loaded his gun and shooted me in the head.

I sh*tted out of my bed and cried. End of the Romanovs? What does the man in my dreams trying to tell me? Are we going to die? I dont understand any of the things happening in my dreams right now they're so intense. And the pain in my shoulder in my dreams were like the pain i felt when we were in Yekaterinburg. I know something was not right in that house! I felt massive pain everywhere when we crossed that damn house.

I looked at my dresser and saw a letter from Mama. I opened it and red it.

My dear Sonyechka,

You and your sister Maria's letter made me very sad. You both wrote about us "not loving you two" My dear Sofia you must promise Mama to never to think again about no one loves you, how did such thought get in your head like this? Remove that right now. We only scold you whenever you are disobedient, mischievous and disrespectful. Just because we scold you doesn't mean we dont love you. We love you very much more than anyone in the world! And im sorry for not giving you attention earlier i had a little bit of a headache. Mama promises you to never ignore you again and please bare with my situation for now dear, Mama's getting old. You are a big girl now you'll turn 16 in two years! Be more mature and take care of the little ones promise me that Sonya.

Think no more about that okay? And replace that thought with a positive thought. I love you with all of my heart.

-Mama

I shedded a tear she's right. I held the letter close to my chest and smiled then went back to take a nap erasing the negative thought.