The Photographer - h.s

The Letters

Harry

I took a deep breath and lightly tapped on her door as I held the tray with two coffees sitting on either end in the other hand, every second that went by waiting for the door to open made me more and more anxious, this was a stupid idea and I was stupid for doing this. What made me think I'd even be invited inside?

The door opened and she raised her eyebrows when she realized I was waiting on the other side. She had her hair up in a ponytail and she wore some old band t-shirt that I didn't recognize, I bet it was David's. She was beautiful, she always looks beautiful.

"Harry..." she said and went to close the door and I put my foot in the doorway to stop her.

"I come in peace. I have coffee." I said and raised the tray in my hand. She sighed and reluctantly let go of the door and walked into her apartment, I followed her in and closed it behind us before setting the tray on the counter and handed her cup over.

"Okay, so why are you really here?" She asked with an edge to her tone, I missed the way her voice used to sound so soft and sweet when we spoke.

"How's your morning going?" I asked back trying to start a normal conversation but, I know she's going to ignore it.

"Harry."

"Okay, okay. I wanted to apologize for last week... for ambushing you with the song in front of everyone, it wasn't really fair." She raised an eyebrow and leaned back, sitting on the armrest of the couch as I stood in front of her. "I'm sorry." She took a sip from the cup and looked at me for a moment and nodded once. "We have to figure out a way to work together like this, because... this is what I do, writing is how I think." And to be honest I don't think I'll ever run out of ways to write about her.

"I'm sorry... for how I reacted. I was a bit...mean." She said and looked down at her hands. I didn't really blame her though, after everything... she shouldn't be apologizing to me.

"No... you reacted the way you should've, you have nothing to apologize for." I said softly and she looked at me and sighed. I hated how strained this felt, and how foreign it felt to be standing in her apartment right now. "We have to leave it at the door. We leave it all at the door, we can't keep bringing this into the studio, or into our work together, period. I want you in there, and I know you want to be there too, we have to be able to go in there and not carry the room down with the weight of the tension." Her expression softened and she looked to me and gave a small nod.

"And... I've been thinking, maybe I just... sit out on some of the writing sessions... I think it'll best for both of us that way." It made me relieved knowing she's been thinking about this too, and how we can make it work. She was right though, I don't think I'd be able to think clearly, or be purely honest with myself if she's in there listening.

"Can I be super honest with you right now?" I asked and she took a deep breath and nodded. "I've had to pee since I left the cafe, can I please please use your bathroom?" I asked and she sighed and rolled her eyes, she has no idea how effortlessly beautiful she is.

"Fine, but make it quick, I have stuff to do." She stated and I gave her a wink as she moved to the couch and let her body fall into it and she sunk down. She looked up to me and raised her eyebrow. "Are you done staring? You remember where it is." I chuckled and made my way to the bathroom. The toothbrush we bought at cvs when I forgot mine wasnt in the cup with hers anymore, and the outline of the heart she drew in the mist on the mirror when I showered one morning before work was wiped clean from the glass, everything looked the way it had before, except me. I've been having a hard time recognizing who I turned into, I still have a hard time sitting with the person I was a few months ago and honestly, who I currently am.