Find My Way Home

16

Halloween Party:

Peter and I hadn't spoken much, if at all since then so I had no idea if he would be at the party or not. I went as Olivia Rodrigo from her "Good 4 u" music video, though I didn't end up wearing the gloves so I was basically just a cheerleader. I had an alright time, I mean, I was alone at a Halloween party where I knew nearly no one, surrounded by teenagers drinking their body weight in alcohol. Not exactly my kind of crowd.

I opted against drinking since I went to the party alone and I was responsible for getting myself home safe. I drank a coke instead, making sure to keep my hand over the lid at all times. I was standing in the kitchen, still alone. I saw Peter come in and I was glad that I blend in with the crowds easily. I didn't want to talk to him.

"Peter! Ned! I'm so glad you two made it!!" They weren't wearing costumes, just regular clothes. She gave Peter a hug and I suddenly felt overcome with jealousy. Then she heard the sound of glass breaking and walked away, saying goodbye quickly. I sifted through the crowd carefully to avoid him seeing me. I leaned against a wall and took a sip of my soda, staring at the ground.
Liz came up to me.

"Hey! I'm glad you made it!"

"Yeah, I'm having a great time." I lied. I wanted to go home.

"Oh, are you not drinking?" She asked, looking down at the soda can in my hand.

"No, no. I came alone."

"So?"

"So, I don't want to drink because I want to make sure I get home safe"

She looked at me strangely. "Alright. Are you sure you don't want a drink though? There's plenty of alcohol here"

"I'm good."

"Okay" She said in an unsure tone. I looked across the crowd and saw Peter, laughing at something Ned had said. I looked at the floor again. "I'm gonna go top up my drink. Do you want another Coke?"

"No, I'm fine thanks." Liz nodded and walked away.

I took a seat on the stairs near the front door, since every other seat was filled with people making out.

I don't belong here.

"Hey," Said a familiar face. It was MJ.

I smiled when I saw her. "Oh, thank god, someone I know!" I said as she sat down next to me.

"These parties are so lame"

"I know right? I don't even know why I came. I guess I was trying to distract myself."

"From what?"

"Boy problems."

"Oh, gross."

"Yeah, gross" I said quietly, looking across the crowd at Peter.

"I'll never understand how this is fun."

"Same, I mean, I'd much rather be at home reading a book-- as cliché as that sounds." 

Eventually, we both decided to leave.

I saw out of the corner of my eye that Peter had finally noticed that I was there and was watching me leave, not making any attempts to talk to me.

MJ and I walked together for a while, feeling like that would be safer than going alone, plus we were going the same way. We walked past a street vendor who was selling bouquets of flowers. When we got to the corner of my street I stopped and stared down at the ground.

"What's wrong?" 

"My boy problems. If I go home, I'll have to talk to him"

"Well, you have to confront him at one point or another. Better late than never."

"I guess. I just don't really want to." I said looking back up at her.

"Is it that bad?"

"No, it's just awkward. Honestly, he didn't really do anything horrible, it was kind of my fault."

"Then what are you waiting for? Go call him."

"Okay, fine, I will."

"I'll see you tomorrow at school, tell me everything"

"I will" I said as she crossed the street and melted away into the shadows.

I took a deep breath and walked towards my problems instead of away from them.

It started pouring rain just as I got to my front door. I walked in and locked the door behind me. I slowly walked up to my room, wanting to drag this out for as long as possible.

When I got to my room I flicked on the light and sat down on my bed. I pulled up the call app on my phone. My thumb hovered over Peter's name for a minute.

I heard a light tap against my balcony doors. I ignored it. Then another one, and one more. I walked over and opened my curtains. I unlocked my door and stepped out onto the balcony. I looked down and saw a familiar brown-haired boy holding a now wet bouquet of flowers in his hand.

"Peter?" I grabbed an umbrella and ran downstairs to him.

I opened it and covered the two of us.

"What the hell are you doing here?!" I yelled over the rain, excited to see my favourite person for the first time in what felt like decades.

"I had to see you before it was too late! I'm sorry that I left the other day, I just- It killed me to think about you with anyone else!"

"It's fine, Peter. We'll always be friends you don't have to worry about a stupid little fight." I said not really hearing the second part of his sentence.

"But that's just it! I don't want to be just your friend anymore! I want to be more than that, Evelyn"

"What are you saying?" I could feel my knees begin to tremble slightly. Part of me knew what he was saying, but I needed him to say it.

"I don't want to risk our friendship," He paused, "because it means so much to me. But I can't keep this hidden anymore. Sometimes I feel like kissing you, but I just don't because I like what we have now. And I want to ruin it but I don't want to lose you." He confessed. He covered his face with his hands. I paused, weighing what I was about to do in my head. I moved his hands with mine and kissed him for a second before pulling back. Peter looked surprised. He looked into my eyes for a moment before leaning down and kissing me for longer.

I dropped the umbrella, hitting the ground at the same time as the flowers.

My hand rested on the back of his neck, taking a dizzied breath as his thumb brushed an exposed slice of skin at my hip and settled, warm and steady. Breathless, tentative, abruptly shy as our breaths chased the fleeting silence. Our eyes met. His were soft, a promise that if I fell I would always be caught. A smile tugged at the corners of his mouth.

"You have no idea how long I've wanted to do that," he said softly, his hand still holding me close at the hips and his head close to mine. He paused for a second before leaning down and kissing me again.

A/N

Did you catch my reference to The Office? Hint: the episode is called Casino Night

some of the short lines in this chapter are from tumblr- bc I needed help lol- but full credit to the original author, if you have an issue with me using your work, please dm and I'll remove it. anyway, yeah that's all.