I hate you hemmings ➳ l.h

11

Clarissa's POV

It's been two days since Claire's been gone. I've been avoiding the pain. Although, pain doesn't leave until you've felt it. There's no avoiding it, but that hasn't ever stopped me from trying.

Luke hasn't tried to talk to me much, either. He understands that I need my space right now. I don't want to see or talk to anyone, not now that I don't have my sister with me.

I feel like I'm bottled up, and can't find a way out. I've been in my dorm for the past two days. I get the rest of the week off because of her death. I just want to have fun. Get my mind off of things, ya know?

Suddenly my boredom got the best of me, as I got up and walked towards the bathroom. I curled my hair, brushed my teeth, and did my makeup nicer than usual. I even drew in my lips for fuller lips. I put on a floral dress that went down to my knee, a white cardigan, and white flats. I looked at myself in the mirror and just sighed, after heading out of my dorm to whoever knows where.

I walked around the campus until I bumped into a figure. He was tall, tan, blonde-haired and he was smoking so much he might aswell start on fire.

"Hey, Clarissa right?" He asked, checking me out head to toe.

"Yeah, that's me. How do you even know who I am?" I questioned.

"You don't know? You're like an It-girl. Everyone knows who you are, babe."

I cringed at the word "babe" coming from his mouth, but I covered it with a fake smile.

"Anyways, it would be awesome if you could come to my frat party tonight. At the frat house. I heard about your sister, you might need a few drinks to get that one outta ya head, huh? Alcohol always helps in hardships." He smirked. I was about to smack him, and walk back flipping my hair like the it-girl I suppose he thinks I am. However, I thought about the options. I do want to have fun, right? What's more fun than partying and getting drunk every night?

"I'll be there." I winked before walking off to my dorm.

**

I changed my outfit for the party, I wore a tight black dress that hardly reached my thighs. It is a party, right? I wanted to change my popular good girl look to a rebellious party girl. Atleast for one night, I need a change. Something different.

I totally forgot about Luke as he walked through the door, eyes wide as so on as they lay on me. I just blushed while looking away. I don't really know how to get myself out of this one.

"Clarissa, w-what are you wearing?" He stuttered, his eyes never leaving my body.

"Well, I'm going out. I'll be back later." I avoided as much detail as possible, but unfortunately Luke wasn't going to stand for that.

"You're not going out looking like that your not." He scolded. I just rolled my eyes.

"Please, Luke. I just want to finally have some fun for the first time in the past week. Just let me party for one night, I don't want to be cooped up in this tiny little dorm for any longer. It's driving me insane." I pleaded.

"No, Clarissa! I can't let you go! I'm sorry, but you're hurting and vulnerable." He raises his voice. I glare at him while anger boils in my veins.

"Well, that's too bad. This isn't your decision, reality check. I'm going wether you like it or not. Goodbye Lucas." I shouted, running out the door slamming it behind me.

**

The stench of alcohol filled my nostrils as I entered the frat house. Multiple couples spread across the house making out, people taking shots, beer pong, and just doing outrageous things.

"Hey hottie, need a drink?" A guy asked handing me a cup. I smiled and walked away, he looked as if he was about to loose his lunch.

I let it all go. I cleared all the thoughts in my mind, and raised the plastic red cup to my lips and let the cool liquid run down my throat. The burning sensation became present, however I didn't care. I took another drink, until it went on and on.

After three drinks, I was pretty much drunk. I had little balance. Everything was a blur to me. I liked it like that.

"Babe, you made it," I felt the guy from earlier, who had invited me whisper into my ear sending shivers down my spine.

"Of course I did." I answered, smirking at him.

"Let's go dance." He took my arm and drug me out to the dance floor. I went along with it, I mean what's one dance gonna harm anyone? It'll be fine.

He put his hands on my hips and started swaying around me. I danced along with him, swaying my hips and laughing. The lights flashed, the music blared, and in that moment I didn't feel anything. All of the pain just disappeared. I understand it's only temporary, but I obviously don't care, as long as it does some relief.

He turned me around, and stared at my lips for a second. Even while drunk, I know my boundaries.

"I have a boyfriend, sorry." I slurred rushing out of his grip. He only tightened his grip as he forced me to look at him.

"Your fairy tale little boyfriend won't even know about this. I doubt you will in the morning either." He smirked. I struggled to get out of his grip until I remembered something.

I kicked him in the lower leg, causing him to fall to the ground. I elbowed him in the stomach before walking off, ignoring all the cheers cascading in the room. I sighed running my fingers betweem my hair before spotting Luke's devastated face. Oh great.

I grabbed his hand and pulled him out of the house.

"Clarissa, what were you thinking? You see, you almost got raped." He exclaimed.

"Guess what though! I didn't. Unlike most girls I know how to defend myself." I rolled my eyes.

"I don't fucking care! Did you not see what was happening? If you would've just stayed home like I told you to-"

"You know what, no Luke. I don't regret any of that. I had more fun than I have in a long time. I'm not apologizing because I'm not sorry. If you have a problem with that than that's your own problem. Not mine." I scoffed. He sighed.

"Clarissa, I know it's hard for you. However, baby, I can't have you partying like that. I was worried more than you'll ever know. It's hard to control yourself when you're drunk. I'm just trying to protect you. Please, don't do that again. If you wanna have fun I'll do something with you. Maybe I'll even go with you to a party, I don't know, whatever you want." His voice softens as his eyes look into mine deeply.

"Okay, fine. I won't do it again." I promised as he enveloped me into a hug.

"Let's get home." He said before pressing a light kiss onto my forehead as he walked along the shadowy streets.

___

Hey guys! I don't really know how I feel about this chapter, it was my first party scene I've ever written, so sorry if it sucks!

I have my first track meet tomorrow and I'm so nervous! Hopefully I do good to represent my school.

-b