I hate you hemmings ➳ l.h

41

-Five years later-

I step out of the limo in my red dress that reached my thighs, flashing a smile towards the flashing lights and paps coming my way. I walked towards the red carpet following my body guards. Today is the Grammy's. I've been nominated for five awards, the excitement is unbearable. After five years I've become accustomed to all the lights and the cameras.

Screams erupted my ears as usual, I just smiled. Once I reached the carpet, I turned towards the paps, flashing a smile trying to look my best. These are the pictures everyone sees when they search you up on Google, you gotta make them look as good as possible.

"Clarissa! Look here!"

"Over here Clarissa!"

"Could you look this way?"

I try to look at as many paps as I can giving a bright smile. My smile completely vanishes once I lay eyes on Luke, and the rest of his band. My heart stops, my palms become sweaty, and suddenly I forget how to breathe once his eyes meet mine. I try to look away but it seems I'm completely frozen, and so is he. The pain in my chest I've worked to avoid comes back, piercing into me with no mercy. I tore my eyes away, gulped, and smiled back at the cameras. I can't let him get to me like this.

If you're wondering what's happened these past five years, let me recap.

Luke and I got through the long distance for about a year. We talked everyday as we promised, and it was great (besides not being able to see each other in person). Then, it became harder. It drove us crazy never being together in person. We both yearned more. We were lacking everything a good relationship needs, and we couldn't help it. Neither of us called it off. We slowly stopped talking. Less calls, less texts, it slowly faded over months until it became nothing. Finally, one night I called him and I told him the obvious; that this wasn't gonna work. That we should just stop pretending we're okay. He didn't fight me on it. He only agreed, because he knew I was right. Our relationship had ended before we even knew it. Then we just never spoke. Now it's been four years since then, and we still have only exchanged a few texts throughout the whole time. We always avoided each other at award shows, and I always made sure I wouldn't see him. This time, there was nothing I could do. He's here right in front of me. It's been four years and yet it still hurts to see him.

We've both dabbled in dating other people. However, none of them has lasted longer than a month. No one is an exception. The relationship is never going to work because no matter who you're dating, it's difficult to be with them in person. Unless you go on tour with them, but we've both never come close enough to someone to let them go on tour with us. It's not like we haven't tried to move on- we just can't. I miss him everyday, but I don't want him back. It's like we're as close as strangers.

That's not all these past five years has been about. I've released three albums. Yours Truly, My Everything, and Moonlight. Luke's band, 5 Seconds of Summer has released two albums- 5 Seconds of Summer (self titled) and Sounds Good Feels Good. Although, I think they're releasing a new one really soon. I wouldn't know for sure though, I've been trying to ignore everything that has to do with his band. We've both been super successful, like we've always wanted. We've become household names; everyone knows who we are. It's so amazing to think about, and scary at the same time. Your whole life is on broadcast for everyone to know about. You can never get away from it.

I tore my eyes from Luke's, snapping out of my thoughts. I could see him step onto the carpet beside me through my peripheral vision. It was difficult to ignore his presence, but I knew I had to.

Once I finished walking the carpet, I found Selena right away.

"Luke and his band is here.. we made eye contact and everything! How am I supposed to perform knowing he's watching.."