Breaking the Bond that Binds.

Breaking the Bond that Binds - Chapter 1

I hope you enjoy the story

Why I am the way I am.

I was rejected by my mate so you can imagine how I feel about the subject. I was young, only 15 when it happened. He turned 18 and basically my life ended at that point. He was an Alpha and I was an unsuitable mate. That I was his mate came as a shock to everyone, especially me. I was a runt, frail in comparison to the other boys my age. My family was of low rank, in a pack of Lycan pure bloods and I was insignificant amongst the most insignificant. My wolf rarely made an appearance and when it did show itself it had a dark silent presence that no one in the pack quite understood or to my good fortune challenged. It was as unlike my human form as possible, yet it was the same as it stood on the side lines and simply watched as life went on around it, just like I did. Our mutualistic relationship was never fully comfortable.

My rejection by my mate was very official, as his position in the pack demanded. I accepted it without objection, for many reasons. It was horrifically painful physically and emotionally. It felt like my skin was being peeled off and my soul tossed into hell, a terrible, cold void. But once the bond was broken and the connection waned I was able to breath again, to hope for a relatively normal life somewhere in the background, not seen or heard. The intense pull, the craving for him that had existed from the time he turned 18 until the rejection became a more bearable deep ache in my chest.  Time passed, there is now only the rare piercing sensation, like a thin sharp blade thrust into my heart, as a cruel reminder of that horrible time.

Years have passed, I will be turning 18 in a few days. I have left my pack, disowned them and my illustrious ancestors,  washed my hands of them and my undeserving mate forever. I am now a rogue Lycan. I lead a quiet life in another state, kept a low profile, even the old torments of a full moon are under my control.  I still feel the heat and want to mate but now I choose who with.   And if by any chance my old mate still feels my presence I hope he also feels the pleasure I do when I join with my lovers....I hope it hurts.  Originally my hate for them was like a furnace  and it created an iron resolve, never will I bow or bend to their rules again.  I will control my nature, the parts of me that remind me of them and live as I wish. 

The Lycan and werewolf mating bond is like a drug, the most addictive drug possible, all consuming that no amount of rehabilitation can truly free you from it. Like any enslaving drug, it takes away what you truly feel and think and replaces those with illusions, compulsions and an endless unwarranted longing for another. You are a slave to it and it lures you in with passion and lust. You suddenly love, lust, are totally connected with someone that before the bond existed was nothing to you, possibly even an enemy, or not the gender you prefer. It takes away choice, independence and most importantly individuality.

It also rides in tandem, is complicit with the rank system of Lycans and werewolves.   It's used to keep the Alphas, Beta etc in their elevated positions and their underlings in their place.  It allows those who want to dominate to do it freely and forces the weak to submit and surrender either without a choice or without shame.  I remember so clearly my own sudden desire to submit to my mate, when in my right mind I would have fought back, fang and claw.  I hate that thought the most.  

PS.... Just a little message to anyone who got to the bottom of this chapter and isn't sure about going any further...keep going.   It gets interesting.  It has a lot of drama, highs and lows, some parts are funny and by the end you really love some of the characters and hate others which is the way a good story should be.

PSS...How I imagine Vigil.  He is beautiful. He's my imagine please don't borrow or copy him.