Breaking the Bond that Binds.

Chapter 34 - Back to the grind

James had been at the airport when I arrived and literally didn't stop talking and asking questions the entire trip home. He was keeping me to my word that I would tell him everything when I returned and I did. An abridged version, less the werewolf content, but on the whole the truth. I told him the family business was worked out amicably. There was no need for me to ever have to go back. Luckily while I was there I managed to avoid my family....all true and I didn't have to blush once while telling the story.

I told him what my plans were and that I needed to work out how to keep working part-time at the bakery as well as study. The amount in my trust fund was still a mystery and I needed to go through the paperwork and figure out if it will be enough to cover all my plans. I basically had to start being a grownup. James listened, was totally supportive, and was over the moon to have things back the way they were.

I felt I needed to go all in and also told him that I'd slept with Damien. James was not so happy about that at all. His face turned red and then he just stared as if it was taking all his strength not to shrivel up. I was trying to be as matter-of-fact as possible, leaving out details like that I enjoyed every moment of being with Damien.

I explained that when I was 15 Damien and I were close but we never acted on it, loads of reasons why we didn't but mostly my age. Neither family approved. All true just a little fluffy around the edges. James sat quietly and I tried to keep it short and sweet. We're older now I told him and it was something we needed to get out of our system. It was a one-off, both of us went into it knowing that. James just ummmed and ahhhed, fiddled with his fingers, and looked teary. He is a confusing contradictory man.   Normally, he wasn't the jealous type which was why we got on so well after being lovers. We were the poster couple for friends with benefits. Who we screwed had never affected our friendship...Damien seemed to be the exception to the rule. It took a few days and endless reassurance that I was happy to be home for good before James started acting his normal self. I knew he was OK when he came home with a guy he picked up at the pub and introduced him to me as I sat watching TV and then led him upstairs for a good rogering.

......

Since I got back, like clockwork every morning, James whines about my hair. "Looking at you freaks me out. No more plait for me to tug on." James had been horrified when he first noticed my hair falling loose to my shoulders. He'd run his hands through it with the saddest look on his face like a friend had just died. I admit I'm not used to it being gone either, there isn't a reassuring heaviness lying against my back anymore and I still get surprised when I look in the mirror but it's only hair I tell myself and it will grow back. Every now and then even Kevin comments on the lack of tail, as he put it. I remember when he first asked me if I wanted to move into with him a work in the bakery he'd suggested I chop it off. I think he misses it now.

I'm enjoying being back at the bakery. I love the smell of it, it's hard work and long hours but totally fulfilling. I missed all my regulars and loved catching up on all their news, the happy chit-chat, and joking around. It filled the hours and I don't feel as lost. Kevin has been a rock, as always. He's there with a kind word and a manly slap on the back to help me feel grounded. He works me hard. He believes a man should earn his pay, but off and on we talk about my plans to go back to school. My biological father should take lessons from this man on how to raise a kid. 

Unfortunately, it's taking me longer to feel settled. When I was busy at the bakery I was fine but when I got into bed my mind would start ticking over, daydreaming, fantasizing...I can't help myself. My evil mind regurgitated the rejection, Damien's horrible father, I even missed The PA's stern face ordering me around.

Most of all, I think about being with Damien that last night. It seemed like he was trying to fit a lifetime into one night. He took me ferociously at first and I can imagine all the damage done by seeing through my eyes was playing out in his mind, all the jealousy and longing. I think his wolf wanted revenge, but Damien kept him mostly under control. But the claw and bite marks he'd left all over my body were a reminder that he hadn't been gentle. He made me howl in a mix of pleasure and pain. I relive how he tentatively took my cock into his mouth the first time, then gaining confidence he'd devoured every inch until I couldn't stop trembling, screaming out his name. Nothing was too intimate between us. Neither of us could get enough, over and over again the desire flared between us. There was desperation in every kiss and every touch.

It was only at the end as we fell asleep in each other arms, when the firestorm had turned to embers, that we kissed softly almost like innocent kids. It's the sweetness and the tenderness of those kisses that torture me the most now.

My mercenary side keeps telling me I just need a good, hard, mindless fuck to wake me up to reality or else I'm going to sabotage my future because of one night. Wakey wakey there's no fairy tale happy ending.