Secret Desire (Nyssara FanFic)

No Holding Back

It's been a couple of weeks since Nyssa and Max had started going out. They mostly go out during the weekends. Sometimes with Sara and Rebecca. Sometimes just the two of them since they've been comfortable enough to just be with each other around.

Nyssa must admit that it's still not the same as the times she spends with Sara, but she does enjoy spending some time with Max. She doesn't push or ask for too much,she's just contented with what Nyssa was giving. At least for now. And Nyssa is good with that. She still doesn't know if what they have is going anywhere, or even if she wants it to, but she'll just let it ride for now. It still hasn't changed her relationship with Sara that much. They're still really close. Sara would still kiss her and cuddle with her when they're alone, but she keeps a little distance when they're not. It's great, since they still spend a lot of time together. Added to the study sessions they do, Sara asked her if she could teach her how to fight the way she had seen those other guys do at her house, and she would sometimes come over to train for that.

"You're holding back." Sara whined.

"I don't want you getting hurt."

"I'll be fine. It won't help me if you're holding back."

"You can barely keep up with me, how else if I don't hold back."

"I'm not some fragile girl that will get broken if you hit too hard. I'm stronger than you think."

"You see what I do with Alec and the others. I can't fight like that with you."

"Why not? Cause I haven't been doing this longer than they have?"

"It's not that."

"Yeah, it's not because you fight like that even with Nate. So because I'm a girl, you think I can't handle it? You're a girl."

"I grew up with this, Sara. It's different."

"I grew up with a cop as a father. I've been learning self-defense since then. It's no big difference."

"You're being difficult." Nyssa was getting frustrated and wanted to walk away.

Sara crossed her arms and just pouted at Nyssa, blocking her way.

Nyssa sighed and put her hands on both sides of Sara's shoulders. She calmed herself and looked at her directly in the eyes.

"Don't you get it? I can't do it because it's you."

Sara looked a bit confused.

"I care about you, Sara. I don't want you getting hurt, especially by me."

"I might get bruises or whatever but I'll be fine, but you treating me like that, like I can't handle myself, it hurts more, Nyssa."

"Okay." Nyssa said, feeling defeated. "We'll continue tomorrow. Just promise me you'll tell me if it's too much."

"I promise." Sara smiled.

Nyssa placed her forehead on Sara's before giving a kiss there.

"We should get cleaned up."

Sara knew she shouldn't do or even think what she was going to say next. She should be the one holding back in this area for the sake of everyone. But she couldn't keep down the wanting at the moment.

"Can I join you?"

Nyssa blinked at her twice to make sure she heard her right.

"Are you sure?"

"Not really."

"Won't that complicate things too much for you?"

"You know it's difficult when you're the one reasoning out."