Secret Desire (Nyssara FanFic)

Can't Stay Away

It killed Nyssa to have seen Sara hurt and being the cause of it. She drowned herself in rigorous training since she got back home that night and hadn't stopped since then. Her body was sore, aching and covered with bruises all over, but it was all nothing compared to how terrible she has felt. She promised herself she'd protect her, yet she's the one causing her pain. She's thought of the perfect punishment to give herself. She will distance herself from Sara until she comes to her herself. She will keep watch of her from afar, knowing she can't come close to her, hold her, be with her.

She took a quick shower to ease some of the ache and wash off the sweat and blood clinging on her skin before she went to school. She rode her motorcycle. She just wanted to be alone. She still hasn't talked to Alec since he started with his punishment. But Nate had tried to talk to her, but she ignored his text. She was in no mood for any of that.

Nyssa avoided any encounter she could have with Sara, even skipping their chemistry class. It's funny that she was getting upset with Sara avoiding her, now she's the one doing it.

Sara noticed that Nyssa wasn't in class even though she just saw her earlier. Maybe she's the one avoiding her now. It's fine with her. The distance would make it easier for her to think. Sort her feelings out.

During practice, she caught sight of Nyssa sparring against Alec. Both of their bodies covered with bruises. Worse that anything she has ever seen, yet there they were giving each other new ones. She doesn't get how they are able to continue like that. Don't they feel the pain? Are they just punishing themselves?

The day ended with Nyssa not even giving her a quick glance. Sara didn't think it would hurt as much as it did. She thought she could be okay with it. She thought it's what she wanted. When she was the one doing it, she thought it was okay, but now that Nyssa's doing it, it just hurts like hell.

But that wasn't true. Nyssa was watching her carefully at the corner of her eye. She was well aware that Sara was watching her, but she couldn't do anything about it. So she just pretended not to notice her, even if it hurts to do so.

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"God Damn You're Beautiful To Me"

 

On the days I can't see your eyes

I don't even want to open mine

On the days I can't see your smile

Well, I'd rather sit and wait the while

For the days I know you'll be near

'Cause a day without you just isn't fair

See the days I can hear your voice

I'm left without a choice

 

Plus I get weak in the knees

Fall head over heels, baby

And every other cheesy cliché

Yes, I'm swept off my feet

Oh, my heart skips a beat

But there's really only one thing to say:

 

God damn, you're beautiful

To me, you're everything,

Yeah, that's beautiful, yes, to me.

 

I can't find the words to explain