Secret Desire (Nyssara FanFic)

Home

Things haven't always gone so easily between Sara and Nyssa, but somehow, they found a balance that suited well for them. Outside their quarters, they're both fearsome, lethal, living weapons that could kill with their bare hands. Alone by themselves, they're almost the opposite. All the emotions they keep buried as an assassin are released in terms of passion when they talk, touch, make love, or even in a simple look they share. Their love exerts a powerful aura that no one could doubt or dare contest.

They've gone to a number of missions together. And out on the field, they were unstoppable. Alec had countlessly voiced out that there would come a time that one of them would seriously get hurt or even die because of the other, but what has been happening says otherwise. They don't fight just for themselves. They fight for the survival of each other. They live to protect the other. They both can't live without the other and they both don't want the other to be broken by the loss of their own life. It was like they were two bodies and souls linked together to live one life.

"Ta-er Al-Sahfer."

"Al-Hami." Sara greeted her friend formally as an assassin.

"You two did great on the last mission. I just had to stop and watch the way you two fought side by side."

"Jealous?"

"Maybe. But she's happy. Really happy. That's the happiest I've ever seen her be. And that's all I want for her."

"I won't hurt her." She knew Nate well enough to know what he wasn't saying, but her response wasn't simply to convince him but also to convince herself.

"You never wanted to. Let's just hope that you wouldn't hurt her again, because I don't know what that would do to her now."

"I'm glad she has you, Nate. Al-Hami. Her protector. I know you will always protect her, even from me."

"And I am yours as well, as long as you don't hurt her again."

She never wanted to hurt Nyssa but she usually ends up doing so. It had got to be the longest time that she hadn't hurt her the way that could tear her apart ever since they have come to find each other again. Sara hopes that the time wouldn't come that she would once more.

Sara parted ways with Nate and went to look for Nyssa. She found her in their shared quarters. She slipped out of her gear and approached her lover. She held her tightly from behind.

"What's the matter, my love?" Nyssa leaned into her embrace.

"I love you, Nyssa."

"Now, you are worrying me."

"Why? Can't I just tell you I love you?"

"Not like that. I know there is something. What is it?"

"You're happy. We're happy. I'm afraid I'd mess things up and hurt you again."

"Who put that thought in your mind? Alec?"

"No one. It has always been there."

"Hurt me. I will love you nonetheless."

"And that is what I fear even more."

Nyssa knew that to be true. Sara never thought herself worthy of the love Nyssa has for her. She has come to accept her love and return it as much as she could, but to her it would never seem enough. If only she knew that Nyssa felt the same, that she is not worthy of Sara. That is maybe why her love for her seems so unconditional and endless. To Nyssa, it is like that is all she could offer her, her undying love.

"We both see ourselves unworthy of the other, but I still would not stop loving you. Hurt me, don't ever worry because we would get through it, as long as you love me. That's all that matters."