Secret Desire (Nyssara FanFic)

When Tomorrow Comes

"Please stop sending the food away. Some of us doesn't have the patience for starvation."

Nyssa was sitting in the middle of the cell, meditating, while Nate was lying in a corner, whining. They have been there for weeks. From time to time, Nyssa would accept the food served to them simply to survive, but most of the time, she turns them away, which doesn't sit well with Nate. He could have his own food, but eating while Nyssa won't is just not something he would do. He would stand by her with whatever she wants to do.

"I gave you a choice to leave. You should have taken it."

"And then what? Let my conscience kill me for leaving you behind? Yeah, starvation sound better."

"Then stop whining."

"There's nothing else for me to do."

"Meditate."

"Done with that shit. I prefer this."

They bickered for a while, until Nate suddenly fell silent. Nyssa readied herself for what she could feel something heavy coming.

"Do you ever regret it?"

Nyssa didn't say a word. She just waited for him to go further.

"Do you ever regret choosing to be with me, when you could have just spent more time with her? You could have made it count more, being with her."

"Don't beat yourself up. Sara and I have had as much time as we could have had. I wish we could have had more, but I regret nothing. Do you?"

"I don't know. I feel guilty somehow."

"You did nothing wrong. So, don't."

Then again, there was silence, but Nyssa knew it wasn't done.

"What if she does come back as herself?"

Nyssa didn't really know how she would react to it, if that does happen. She has thought of it countless times since she saw her emerge from the reviving waters of the pit. But she knew too well not to keep her hopes up, she has seen what the pit does. She's seen how it's dark powers consumed her father. She saw what it had turned Sara into. But if there is some other kind of mystical power out there that could help her, she hopes and prays that they find it and make it work.

"I...I don't know. It's difficult to hope when you've seen so much loss and darkness."

Nate knew where she was coming from. He's seen her through it all. He's seen her broken and empty. He's seen her put up a wall though she has no strength left to fight. She's strong, but she's taken so much. He can't blame her for losing hope on anything.

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From the moment her soul was returned to her body, Sara felt the unquenchable thirst for blood. It's easier for her to control it because of her training, but sometimes it's just so intense that she simply loses to it. And she knew it would be the greatest battle she has to face, keeping the monster within.

She was happy to be back, to be with her family and friends again. It felt like she was given yet another chance, but for what, she still has to figure out. Being surrounded by her family and friends, and doing what they do, the feeling should be easy, yet she felt lost and out of place. She felt that there was something missing. She couldn't stay in Star City. She has to go somewhere and find herself. And she has to go see someone. She has to go see the person who's always been able to help her keep her demons at bay.

Nyssa. She's the one she could think of that could somehow make things seem okay. She needs to see her. She needs to be held by her. In that crazy world where her soul had been kept, all she could think of was her. She prayed for her to come and save her like she always did, but she did come. That didn't matter. She will go to her now, be with her, and everything will be better.