My Soulmates are IDOLS Books 2+3 | 18+ [SoulBond Series]

184:a distraction

Amber bit her lip, chewing on it nervously. Her heart was pounding in her chest, so hard and so fast she swore it might just escape the cage of her chest and soar into the sky. She couldn't look at her men, not after spewing all that dirt from her lips. Not after exposing her inner most wants, her greatest needs, her dirty little secrets. Everything. Every damn fucking thing. And now her cheeks were on fire and her head went light and dizzy from her embarrassment.

Fuck. She was starting to regret her decisions.

"It hurts?" Casper murmured out loud and for a moment Amber was filled with the urge to let out a bark of breathy laughter. Trust her men to focus on that word. And she knew they did, their concern was thick in the sharp gasps from their lips and the never-ending hum of silence in the air; a silence that was pregnant with their hesitation, loaded with their questions. "What hurts?"

She licked her lips, her mouth strangely dry as she squirmed in her seat. She tried to speak, tried to form the words in her head. The words that haunted her dreams, the words that made her feel as if she had been poisoned by sin, as if a succubus had taken her mind, as if she were the devil.

I don't want just kisses, heavy petting or even oral sex. I want more. I want everything you can give me. I want you to take away the ache between my thighs, to take the dirty thoughts in my head and make it a reality. I want you to complete me. I want to be filled, I want to explore, I want to learn. I want my soul to be whole again. I want to be loved. I want all of you to show me that you love me.

"I-it's not pain," she whispered unable to look, the words tumbling from her lips in splutters of sound. "Just, just—" Need, deep aching need. A corrupted sort of desire that plagued her mind and tortured her body.

She squirmed. Why did she have to explain that to them? She'd already said what she had to say and it had taken most of her courage. Maybe all of it. She felt as if she were toppling down a waterfall, her bravery plummeting with every second. She was a deflating balloon, a lonely little sprig in the desert, a damned virgin. And her insecurities bubbled and pooled, filling her head. She couldn't do this. Maybe, they weren't ready. Maybe they didn't want her as much as she thought they did. Maybe...It was all just her. And the thought of that hurt her; a spark of discomfort in her chest.

"Forget it," she said, her mind was a mess of heat and embarrassment. "Forget it." She turned wanting to leave, only she was chained to Casper and leaving was never an option anymore. She paused, looking away, horribly aware of the soul band that kept her to Casper. Goddamn it. And now she wanted to cry.

"Sure."

MinJae's voice echoed through the silence, an arrow through her thoughts, a song of hope from an angel. His voice was soft, mellow, sweet. Her eyes darted upwards, her mind dropping its guard from the sugar and honey that spewed from full, pouty lips. And her heart raced at the sight of him.

Milky full cheeks, stained the prettiest of pink. Eyelids, heavy and hooded with lust and desire. His jaw was angular from exertion; he had bitten down so hard on his teeth that the muscles at the sides of his cheeks rippled and jerked. And his body was...Taut, flexing muscle, and a dripping angry cock, so violently red that it looked as if it hurt. His eyes, dilated pupils that were so, so fucking wide he might as well be on drugs.

Only there were no drugs.

Only her.

And then she was pulled to him. A hand on her waist, the other to her cheek and his face so close to hers that she was forced to look at him. For a moment her vision blurred and then fixated on eyes the colour of burnt sugar, melted candy and morning dew.