My Soulmates are IDOLS Books 2+3 | 18+ [SoulBond Series]

221: each other

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"S-she was my first love and we weren't really dating, s-she didn't want to. It was a secret at first, to the company. The company only knew when Ha-Eun's agency contacted us. Paparazzi caught us heading to a clinic, the company had to pay for damage control."

"That was three years ago. You said you were just following her for a check-up."

"Yeah," JieMi nodded, thumbing the plastic lid of his cup. "She was pregnant then, a mistake. I-I wanted the baby, it was a miracle baby." JieMi bit his lips, looking down at his hands. "It was still my baby, even if it wasn't my soulmate's, even if it would turn out weak from the lack of soul bonded parents. I thought I wouldn't have a soulmate then so...I didn't think much of it. I just thought I was lucky to even have a kid with someone who wasn't my soulmate. I considered, that maybe she was my soulmate." He peeked at her then and Amber shook her head, a gesture that told him that she didn't mind.

Why would she when they had yet to meet?

"She was happy, she told me she wanted him too. A-and I bought things...So many things for him. It would have been a boy. I would have been a teenage father but...I promised to be a good one. We named him and everything, I was excited—" JieMi drew in another shuddering gasp. "She told me she had a miscarriage."

Fuck. Amber licked her lips. This story was never going to end well.

JieMi sniffed. "I believed her. I held her as she cried and she was so broken by it, she cried so hard she wouldn't leave the bed. I-I couldn't leave her then, the idea of our son just-I-it tied me. I guess some part of me assumed we were soulmates, some part of me assumed we were destined. I don't know. I don't know why I didn't see the signs. I guess...She was a better actress than I thought." His expression hardened then, blinking back tears. "She lied to me about wanting him, she aborted him. I only found out months later because she didn't throw the receipt or the pills."

Shit.

Her men didn't seem to know that too because the room was momentarily filled with gasps and the sound of shocked inhales of air.

"I forgave her because we were young. She was scared and she had her flaws but...I loved her. I used to, maybe I was in love with the memory of her. I don't know. And then when she didn't have a soulmate, I made it official with her. I just I thought we would be in this together forever. I thought we were meant to be together."

JieMi sighed, shaking his head. "And when I knew about you, I just—I felt bad. I couldn't leave her I know. I should have but s-she—I promised to stay with her. I promised to be what her soulmate couldn't be. I just couldn't break my promise to her so I pushed you away. Y-you were a stranger to me then..."

Amber couldn't fault him for that it would be the same as throwing Miri away for JieMi. He had chosen someone he already loved over someone society said he had to love, and it would have been an easy decision for Amber if she was in his shoes too. Still, his words sent a tinge of bitterness down her throat which she was forced to swallow.

"But she did it again in secret." JieMi licked his lips, fingers clenched. "I got a call from the abortion clinic, some fuck up in the system, something about medicine and payment. It was months ago. She aborted another child." He glanced up at her, eyes wet with tears. "A girl."

Fuck.

"I think that's when our relationship started breaking. She wasn't trustworthy. And I guess things escalated, she grew tired of me. I was affected by MinJae's pain and I was always thinking of you." JieMi glanced at Amber, eyes meeting her own, wide and sincere. "We had a big fight. I told her I would leave. She threatened me then. She started leaking somethings online, going on massive rants. She wasn't careful and then she was sick all over me. I didn't know what to do. I took her to the hospital. I found out she was pregnant then." JieMi's smile turned grim. "I couldn't leave then... Not anymore..."

Amber bit her lips.

"She took it as her leverage, she promised she wouldn't abort it this time. That we would raise it together. That it was the fruit of our love. I-At that point of time, I didn't—I couldn't leave. I just couldn't. And I knew what she was capable of. I convinced myself that I-I didn't need you." JieMi's lips quirked into a bitter smile. "I told myself I would focus on the baby, on giving the baby a good family, that I would try to love her more. And the lines blurred, I guess. I was there more for the baby than her, and she got angry sometimes."

JieMi dropped his head into his palms. "Y-you fainted. You told me about how you knew about me and her. You were sick with fever. I-I think I realised then how much. How bad this was. I told her I wanted to break up, but I would stay for the baby. S-she tried to kill herself then, a knife to her belly, said the baby would go first. That it would be my fault, then she started to talk about the group, about exposing secrets and lies." JieMi started to sob again, tears streaming down his cheeks and dripping to the floor. "I got to my knees and begged her to forgive me, told her she could do anything. And then she got angry..." His voice trembled as he spoke.

"Did she hit you?" Ezra's voice echoed through the room, sharp in the air.

Amber's eyes widened at his words, horror filling her frame. No. She couldn't have. Could she? Did she? Her eyes remained glued to JieMi's stiff frame, noting the tremble in his shoulders the quiver of fear. And she was reminded of the way he seemed to worship his girlfriend's feet, the way he seemed to become meek in her presence. The way he barked at her when she knocked into him and he dropped her coffee. The way he had lashed out, the way he had always seemed so urgent when it came to Ha-Eun. She'd told him he could easily get a new cup for his girlfriend...She told him...

"S-she's just angry—"

"JieMi, did she hit you?" MinJae's voice was trembling as he rose. "Those bruises, you told me they were dance bruises. You laughed about how the floor hated you. You told me! You said!" He choked, covering his lips as his voice grew pitched with tears.

"I—" JieMi's eyes watered. "I'm a guy...I didn't know how to—"

Holy fucking shit.

"JieMi..." Amber whispered. "Oh God, JieMi..."

"I-I wasn't in the right mind after that...I went back to the dorm. I was determined to get you to go home. I don't know. I-I don't know. I was scared. She threatened everything. You need to understand, understand, she threatened my family, my friends, everything. And if she knew about you...I don't know I thought it would be easier, so much easier if you weren't in the picture. I-I could solve it on my own first. You know? Maybe I could reach an agreement. But I didn't know that m-my brothers were your soulmates too." JieMi's eyes grew watery with tears. "It changed things."

He sniffed, rubbing his cheeks. "And then by pushing you away I was pushing my best friends away. By pushing you away I was shitting on their dreams for family. I fucked up. I knew I did, but I didn't know what to do. I didn't know what I could do. All I could do was stay with her and make sure she wouldn't get pissed. That was the only way to protect everyone, but I couldn't have both." He shook his head, biting his lip turning bloodied flesh a brighter shade of red. "And I was so lonely...And you were so nice..."

"Oh JieMi." Amber held him then, arms wrapped around his frame.

"I knew my plans wouldn't work when the soul bond reacted. I was at my lowest then...I think it knew. It knew it needed to do something." JieMi gave her a watery smile. "I don't know if I'm thankful it did."

"I am," Amber murmured. "You were an adorable bunny."

"The absolute cutest." Sieon agreed, nodding his head.

"You were always the cutest of all us, our baby," Oliver grinned, eyes wet with tears. He kissed the top of JieMi's head, rubbing his cheeks with his palm.

"I'm sorry to everyone, for being a burden." JieMi garbled out through soft sniffles. "For troubling the team."

"Never." Hikaru shook his head. "Never a burden. We were rude to you, we didn't dig deeper. I'm sorry, JieMi."

"We're sorry," Ezra whispered, bringing a cup of water to JieMi's lips. "I saw you wanting to apologise to Amber with those flowers. I pushed you away. I should have encouraged you to do it. Fuck, we fucked up."

"We did. We all did." Casper agreed, then his lips quirked. "We need a group hug." They surrounded JieMi then, arms wrapped around each other as tears streamed down their cheeks. And in the embrace of her soulmates, everything felt as if it would be okay as long as they had each other.