My Soulmates are IDOLS Books 2+3 | 18+ [SoulBond Series]

320: Chapter 13

Amber

They made a big deal about her arrival.

Logically, she'd deemed the problem a matter undeserving of attention and further thought. The way one should deal with the wrong order of groceries: cod instead of salmon, carrots instead of beets. The purchase of canned tomatoes that gave Casper an upset stomach instead of the organic ones he loved.

A problem that could be easily rectified.

A problem that could be fixed

Amber didn't want to fuel the problem into existence, give it time and space to reside in her head—a virus that would spread and spread until it bubbled in her belly and spilled to her throat; it would fill her the way cock would at the top of each thrust. So full.

So uncomfortably full.

Her mind could be manic, so thorough with its overthinking. It could twist the situation, transform her husbands—change them into something monstrous, something she couldn't quite shake off.

She wanted to claw it all off, sink her nails deep within her flesh and scream.

She'd hate to look at them, when she was filled with a self-created grudge that shouldn't exist. Look at them for the rest of their lives thinking about a bad episode with the baby. She didn't want it to fester in her mind, a topic that would appear again and again when she was mad.

You've disappointed me once.

You can do it again.

You motherfucker.

An accurate statement considering the fact that they were fucking her, a mother, but that was beside the point.

She refused to allow the problem to grow into something that needed counsellors and therapists, finances and law. Separation and soul problems, parenting between eight separate people. She just didn't want that life for Rumiko. she'd hate having to juggle her back and forth like a circus act. Look at her soulmates with sad eyes and bitter regret.

"Why don't you like daddy?" Rumiko would ask, hopefully cherubic, hopefully more angelic than satanic.

A mother could dream.

"It's a long story," was what she would say. "But let me tell you something darling. We need food, we need oxygen, we need people. But we don't need men. Not even when our bodies crave their soul and dream of everlasting togetherness. Men aint shit."

"Really?"

"(Not) really."

In that parallel universe in which her stubberness reigned and her issues dragged on forever, Amber would die an early death and all seven of her soulmates would pass quickly and surely. One after another they would drop like flies.

But that was impossible because surely, without fail Amber would return to them forever.

She digressed because that thought was extreme. And while it lingered in her head, a thought that could be considered she slammed it down quickly. Amber was being way too pessimistic and she couldn't dream of a life away from her soulmates.

So the seven-day long holiday away from the baby, was just a goddamn holiday away from the baby. Nothing more, nothing less.

It wasn't an escape, a declaration of her potential future with just a selective number of partners, maybe just one or two—partners unfairly chosen simply because they didn't say the wrong things at the wrong time.

It wasn't a hint of her mental state. One that threatened with the need to leave their asses just because they'd left her alone in a strange, foreign place with no one else she knew within the vicinity. Her mind flickered. To be honest, it would be so much easier if she could go home to her parent's home and just—