My Soulmates are IDOLS Books 2+3 | 18+ [SoulBond Series]

145: Send

When the words left his mouth it just seemed to solidify the situation, it just seemed to make his nightmares into a reality and the tears spilt from his cheeks, increasing in its amount. He couldn't see through the tears that blurred his vision and they continued to spill down his face as he spoke. "I was blinded in my pain. In my own anger."

He swallowed, unable to look at her as he continued, his body heaving with each word. "I thought I was alone so I just-I know I shouldn't be giving you all these stupid excuses. But, I really-I truly." He hiccuped, sniffing as he garbled out his words through the tears. His voice was wet and it cracked as he spoke. Each syllabus was accompanied by a dry sob that tears out of his throat and a pain in his chest that hurts more than anything he's ever felt in his life. The pain in his chest roared through his body making his limbs turn numb with his exertion, he couldn't breathe through his tears and he struggled to speak.

"I really want to be with you. I really want this to work out. I-I didn't mean the things I said. I was lost in my rage. I was confused. I didn't think. I know, I'm stupid. Oh, I really don't know what to do. Please." He swallowed thickly, rubbing his tears. His panicked mind moving to think of all the other ways he could get her to forgive him.

He continued, desperately spilling out all the words in his head. He could do nothing but talk because he knew if he didn't she would leave. "What can I do? I know I hurt you. I don't deserve you. I know, I know I made you mad. I know- I-" He broke, sobbing as he spoke. "I know I almost killed you. I know I'm horrible. I am. I am." He nodded viciously, admitting his sins. " I-I am the most horrible soulmate in the world. I can't do this, please my chest hurts so much. I don't know what to do. What should I do? What should I do now? I don't know what to do-" He exhaled, dry sobs wrecking through his body, a strangle of words through his throat.

"MinJae...Don't cry." His eyes flickered to his soulmate and he was surprised to see her crying too. The tears spilling from the corners of her eyes, pretty like crystals in the light. "You'll make me sad too." Somehow seeing her cry made a rush of pain spring in his chest. His chin wobbled, as his lips turned down.

"I-I can't stop crying." He wailed, rubbing the tears from his eyes.

"Dummy." She sighed then she snorted. "You know, what? We're actually on the same fucking page."

"What?" MinJae blurted out, sniffing and then her lips were on his. He was in shock, his eyes widening at the sight of her closed ones. Her lips were soft, softer than what he remembers and her kiss was gentle and sweet, a simple lip on lip. Nothing too special, nothing too sexual. In fact, it was so sweet that it made his soul melt into goo and his heart fly out of his chest. She parted from him, giving him a look and he blinked, the tears leaving his eyes as his vision cleared.

"You're like a wall." She complained, raising a brow. He opened his mouth then he closed it again, then he opened it.

"C-can I try again? Please?" He asks softly. She smiled and this time the smile reaches her eyes. The soft hazel was sweet like the dalgona (달고나) candy his mother would buy for him when he was good. His heart skipped a tentative beat as he hoped and prayed to his God that she would accept him. Was she accepting him? He couldn't bear to give himself hope. What did the kiss mean? He didn't know. He was a little stunned by her action.

"Sure." She let out a huff of amusement and pecked his lips. He blinked, startled at how fast this one was. Although something flickered in his chest, amusement bubbling from within him.

"That was unfair." He breathed, pouting a little. "That was too fast."

"Are you Goldilocks?" She sniffed through her smile.

"I want one more." He pleaded, letting his voice drop into a whine. "One more." She obliged with a cheeky frown. This time, when her lips meet his, he consumed her, reacting quickly before his fish swam away from the net. He took control, swiftly raising the intensity as he clung onto her as if she were the only thing tying him to this world.