Primed To Sin: Her Start ✔

𝑪𝒉𝒂𝒑𝒕𝒆𝒓-39

Alexandra

Turning the pages of my old journal I skim through the sheets. My fingers brush against the fragile, brown papers as in turn them over. Each sheet smelled like the past which was long gone. My eyes dart at one single sheet, the ink sank into the paper...

A letter to myself, each word gored into my soul

Alexandra, 1:30 P.M. -Tuesday, 14-7-2016

I want to be loved...
I want to fall in love...
I want to know what love feels like...
Perhaps the word love isn't much of a stint...
But the little actions that burst into a waterfall of butterflies..
Maybe love is when you go for a fistbump but he pulls you into his chest..
A hug where you feel safe and secure...
Very warm & gentle.
Could love be when he touches your neck & the little sensation feels like home.
And leaves you carving for more..
Or maybe it's when he holds your hand & his friends tease him for it.
Or when he puts his arms around you & leaves you breathless due to the emotions...
Or when he teases you...
Perhaps it when he has his eyes on you & whenever you look your eyes lock & its a emotion carnival.
Or...
Maybe..
It's when you see him & feel complete...
Love is nothing but a mystery which treasure changes from soul to soul.
Love is very dominant, beautiful & terrifying...
Love could either be a lit candle or a everlasting torch.
It's the souls who decide which one it want..
He might be your high school sweetheart, your best friend which you called bro most your days, or A man on the other side of the world.
Love doesn't know young & old, tall & short, ugly or pretty.
Love knows the heart & for it sings to it lullaby every night for the rest of eternity.
Love is needed, love is a must, a world without love is not complete, a life without love is to be very gloomy & dark.
I want to be loved & one day I will find my share of love..
& when I do, I won't let go, as for I fear if I do he might slip through the cracks of my fingers and slip away.

-Lexi-

I place my old journal on the table letting out a breath I never knew I held in.

I yearned to fall in love-
Now I am in love-

I grab a black pen from the table and begin writing..
A letter to my future self, so I can always recall my present self, perhaps that way I can always live in this day.

Five years ago I wished to fall in love and be loved...
Here I am now in love and engaged, to no other than a man from the other side of the world..
A man which finalizes me, A man which takes away my pain and misery a man which I can name home..
A man whose hug I won't sell for the worlds riches and wealth.
A man whose hand fits perfectly into mine..
A man who loves me even with my missing parts..
A man who is my beginning and last..
Falling in love isn't easy..
You have to be a fighter in order to fall in love..
As for we all know falling in love is a battle it self.
You could love and lose, but what I know is that I've won and my wealth is more crucial to every be forgotten.

Alexandra, 5-2-2021,Thursday

I have loved and I have won, and i do not regret any of the choices I have made in my life.

Especially when my choices come to Alessandro—

He is the best of choices I have made.

Click~Clack