i.xiv. (a)

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"Here you are." Jaehyun meets you in the corridor and immediately lifts Miga up. You were so incredibly mad at him, but you try to hold yourself back.

"Everything all right?" He gave you a kiss and then Miga. She started to giggle and leaned against her father's shoulder.
"Mommy is sad," says Miga and playing with the sleeve of Jaehyun.
"Is everything ok?" Jaehyun's eyes widened and he turned to face you.
"I don't know, ask Suji." You knew how snappish that sounded and you really did not want to fit it into such a cliché, but you could barely control your emotions. Jaehyun has now turned white and he could hardly move.
"Y/N, I can..." But before he could say anything, the door to the meeting room was opened and the main managers greeted you.

The talks started quickly. You realize that Miga was visibly uncomfortable. Everyone stared at her, talking about her, pointing with their fingers at her. Jaehyun tried to give her a good feeling and hugged her and rocked her a bit. But she still felt uncomfortable. The good thing was that the whole meeting was over quickly. They handed you a few contracts that you wanted to have checked by a lawyer. But think that's not a good idea anyway.
"Mrs. Jung, all the best for the birth and we will talk with each other afterwards. Jaehyun can lead you around and show you everything." The boss shook your hand and you say goodbye to him.

Everyone went out of the room and you can already hear how Miga started sobbing. She was so good that she persevered it all, but it was all too much for her. You wanted your daughter to have a normal childhood.
"Hey my darling, everything's okay. Should we go home?" Jaehyun had your daughter in his arms and you wipe the tears from her face.
"I thought that I will show you the company? Miga has never visited me here." Jaehyun was shocked and pushes his daughter closer to him.
"Can't you see that she's stressed out? I don't understand why I got into it, she can visit you another time." You did not want to be here anyway and go home. And when you get upset and your day is not bad enough, you feel a firm kick in the ribs. You can't breathe in pain and you hold your stomach. Jaehyun immediately put Miga on the ground and supported you.
"It's just a kick, it's starting to get tight in there." You try to breathe, but there's another kick. The little boy in you apparently had his gym class and unfortunately your ribs are too close to his legs.
"You should probably sit down." Jaehyun looked worried, but you did not want to stay in the building for a second longer.
"No, it's alright. Come Miga, let's go." You were still angry and your son could kick lately that often, after all, you were already a little used to it.
"Please Y/N, rest first. Let's go eat something." Jaehyun ran after you and Miga. Your steps became faster and your daughter tried as good as possible to keep pace with you.
"I'm sorry, but I can't be here anymore." Another kick reached your ribs and you had to stop for a moment. You try to breathe in and out deeply and you try to get back to normal as soon as possible.
"Y/N please, you can't go home." Jaehyun desperately brushes back his hair. He did not want to leave you home in that condition.
"It's alright, I can drive." You stand up slowly and take Miga back to your hand.
"What? You're here with the car? I thought you're not driving anymore?!"
"I can drive, that's no problem. I'm pregnant, but not ill." You hiss back and enter the garage.
"Mommy I'm hungry." Miga started getting restless, but you had no nerves for that.
"We'll eat something at home, hold on for a while." As you stand in front of your car, you search in your pocket and find some animal biscuits, which you give to your daughter.
"Forget it, I'll drive you home." Jaehyun put Miga in the child seat and put on the safety belt. By now she was happy again, she ate her biscuits with relish.
"Jaehyun, I don't want to see you now." Tears gattering up in your eyes and you realize that your sobs were audible. You were so sad and so hurt, but you didn't want to show it Jaehyun.
"Forget it. I will not let you drive our daughter home in this condition." Jaehyun yanked the car key out of your hands and got in the driver's side.

You didn't talk to each other while driving. Jaehyun was busy the whole time to cancel all his appointments for today. At home you still didn't talk. You give Miga something to eat and Jaehyun then put her down for her nap. While he was in the nursery and singing something to his daughter, you put the dirty plates in the dishwasher.

Jaehyun did not have to announce himself when he entered the kitchen, you could immediately sense his presence.
"I'm sorry I did not tell you anything." Jaehyun leaned on the kitchen counter and tried to look you in the face.
"You're not telling me your ex is working with you again, you're not telling me you're making a solo album and you've been in the company all night lately - what should I think Jaehyun?" You reach your forehead desperately and you feel that you could cry again. Didn't you lost enough tears about him in the meantime?
"I don't know, I should have said something earlier..." Although Jaehyun was understanding, you still could not forgive him.
"Do you have an affair with her?" For the first time since you're home, you look at him again. Jaehyun was frozen and at first unable to respond to your question. That was enough for you, you feel the first tear rolling over your cheek. It was too much for you and you just wanted to be alone. You turn around and run into the bedroom. On the way the tears flowed over your face. You sit on your side of the bed and take a tissue.
"I do not have an affair with Suji. I love you. I just want you." Jaehyun came after you and he knelt in front of the bed. His brown eyes are almost piercing your heart and you continue to feel that deep pain.
"How can I believe you if you leave me alone at this difficult time? Suhno can come anytime and I can not handle Miga anymore by myself." You feel like your son moves wild again in you and you reach over your stomach. Although you had some time left, you have not felt so well for a few days. You feel how your body prepares for the birth and how everything tightens together. Sunoh hardly had any room left in you and he lets you feel it regularly when he hits your ribs or bladder.
"I don't understand why you didn't call my mother?" Jaehyun ran his fingers through his hair and sighed.
"Because YOU should be there. Don't you care about your children?" You were still packed with so much anger and you could not control your tears anymore.
"I know the timing is not good, but I finally get the chance to do a solo album, that was always my dream, that's a life's goal of mine." You look at Jaehyun desperately. What should you say? You love Jaehyun, of course you did not want to destroy his dream.
"But you forget your family ..." Your voice was low and slowly your cry subsided. Jaehyun rested his head on your lap and you both lingered like that for a long time. But you could not see him, you wanted to be for yourself, you wanted to be alone.
"Jaehyun?" He raises his head and looks up at you expectantly.
"Yes?"
"I need time for myself." You were still hurt and the hormones didn't make you think clearly. You needed time to think about everything. Jaehyun looked disappointed, but he understood.
"Should I go with Miga for one night to my parents?" He strokes your thigh and waits for your answer.
"Please ..." You whisper this and you think it was the best. On the one hand, you were able to keep your distance and come to rest. On the other hand, it is still good for Miga to spend time with her father.
"Okay, I'll go pack Miga's bag." He sighed and got up, but he did not leave yet. He leaned down to give you and put a kiss on your belly and then on your lips.
"I love you, it's important to me that you know that." You stare at him with mouth open and now you were the one who did not know what to say. You only look how Jaehyun left the room.

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