Multi-Fandom Gay One-Shots

Harvey / Nick / Caliban: The Immortal Dilemma

Premise: You're immortal, and just won a "$2k per month for the rest of your life" lottery. The lottery organizers are puzzled as to why you keep turning down the money while your excuses become increasingly hard to believe.

The problem had been created from pure boredom. Which, to be fair, is how most problems start for any of them really; that and that fact that problems are attracted to them like a magnet. That's all irrelevant though– the point is that Nick had done something stupid.

He was watching an art YouTube video with Harvey when an ad popped up. It was a sweepstake where you could win $2,000 a month. Nick was intrigued. While they didn't exactly need the money, it would be fun to enter. Plus, it wasn't like he would win so there was no harm. He clicked on the link and it took him to the website.

"What are you doing? Don't click on ads in the middle of me watching the video you prick." Harvey tried to swat Nick's hands away from the touchpad but Nick moved the computer completely away from him.

"What there's nothing wrong with entering a contest. It's just a little bit of fun. Don't sweat it farm boy." Nick entered his information quickly and put the video back on. "See? My boredom has been stopped and I am entertained." Nick put the laptop back and played the video. Harvey shoved him off the couch.

——

There was a knock at the door and Caliban went to open it. He said a spell and a shirt appeared to cover his body. He pulled at the collar uncomfortably as he turned the handle.

"Congratulations!" Caliban had to physically resist punching the person directly in front of him out of surprise. A group of people stood in before him with balloons and a giant piece of cardboard. "We're looking for Nicolas Scratch. Are you him?" One lady said inquisitively. Caliban turned his head but kept his eyes on the crowd.

"Nick! There are weird people looking for you?" Thumping sounded from the staircase as nick approached the door in confusion. The lady excitedly shoved the cardboard in his face.

"Congratulations! You won our $2,000 a month for life lottery. Every month we're gonna deliver you the money and you can live happy knowing you have that extra cash." Nick slowly pushed the check away and grimaced. He never thought he would actually win. The chances were so minuscule that he never even considered the possibility of him winning. Now he has to tell these people that he doesn't want free money. It's not that he doesn't want it, he would love it actually. But later down the line, he'll have to explain why he's not aging as he collects check after check until he gets ousted as a witch. So, no, the money is not an option.

"Sorry, but I can't accept this money. I am... on a personal mission to not accept money from anyone this month. You should give the sweepstakes to someone else. They deserve it more than me." Nick hoped that they would go away and the problem would be resolved. If only it were that easy.

"Oh, such a humble person. Don't worry, we'll be back next month with your money. Stay strong sir." They all left the porch and Nick was left standing with his boyfriend.

"What did you do?"

"I have no idea." Caliban's shirt disappeared and they closed the door.

——

Nick dreaded the day that approached all too quickly for him. When the doorbell rang he knew he couldn't just ignore them. He had to come up with a reason that they would leave him alone. And he had come up with the perfect one. He just had to hope it would work. Nick pulled the door open and the same group stood at his door with another check and balloons.

"Please, I can't accept this." He started but was cut off by the same loud-spoken woman.

"But you entered the contest and won. Why wouldn't you want money?" Nick decided to with honesty. Well, some honesty at least.

"Look, I've done a lot of bad things in my life. I don't deserve this money. It should go to a charity or something. Please, help me help someone else." He was a great actor. It's why he always got the lead in the plays at the Academy of Unseen Arts. Some of the people seemed to tear up. His plan was working flawlessly.

"That's so noble of you. I see now that you definitely deserve this money. Please, take it." Emphasis on the was working flawlessly. How had they managed to turn this around on him? Hecate, he hated dealing with mortals.

"Thank you." He awkwardly took the check and put it inside. All the people gave small words of encouragement as they left. He shut the door, took a deep breath, and screamed. Once he was finished, he could hear his boyfriend's voice behind him.

"You know you have to stop this right?" Harvey said with a smirk. Nick sighed deeply out of disappointment.

"Yeah, Harv I know."

——

The next time the people came around with their celebratory money, Nick was prepared. If being a good person didn't work, he would be a terrible one. He would turn into the most conceded, egotistical person they'd ever met. It would be glorious.

The doorbell rang and he was ready. He yanked the door open and pulled the check right out of their hands.

"Oh my Hecate, thank you. I've been waiting for this to come. I can't believe I wanted to give this money away. I should be the one getting it. This money is for me because I deserve it." Nick admired the large check of money in his hands. When he glanced at the familiar group, he saw nothing but admiration in their eyes. Why would they ever feel that? It didn't make sense.

"WOW! We're so glad that you've improved your self-esteem. This is great progress." One of the guys said. Nick was fuming. He stormed inside and slammed the door.

"I'm so sick of these people. It's been three months of this shit! Why don't they understand that I don't want their money," Nick collapsed on the laps of his boyfriends. Harvey patted the top of his head while he rolled his eyes. Caliban smacked his ass and rubs his leg. Nick doesn't really care because he's just being horny.

"Why don't you just call the company and request that you don't want the money anymore? They can't force you to accept the money, Nick. You're struggling for no reason." Harvey said. And– it's not his fault that Nick hadn't thought of that.

"I was wondering when he'd stop making himself suffer." Caliban said. Nick kicked him but he knows it didn't hurt him. He is made of clay after all.

Nick had called the company and they did give the money to the next winner. He slept easy that night knowing that his secret was safe. His boyfriends would never let him live it down though. But he's dating them, so he signed up for that. Suffering is a part of his day-to-day.