My Love // Theo Nott

sixty one

Theo's pov:

"Theo." she said. "Stop playing around." I knew I should've ended things earlier.

"Good for Blaise. Getting you out of this relationship before it can go on any longer." I stood up and walked over to my schoolbag. I started getting my textbooks out and setting them on the desk. I had my back turned to Aurora so I could let go of my face expression for a bit.

"Theo. Stop it." she said. I heard her get up as well and walk towards me. I blinked back any tears that were starting to surface and turned to look at her.

"You got what you wanted. The truth. What else do you want?" I asked, falsely annoyed.

"You didn't do that, Theo. You didn't, you didn't use me." she sounded like she was trying to convince herself more than anything else.

"Didn't I though?" that was rhetorical though she still shook her head in denial. "We had sex and before we could do it again, Blaise opened his mouth." I inhaled deeply trying to get my heart to stop racing. I couldn't believe I was actually ending things like this. Making her believe I did something so terrible. But being engaged was already terrible enough. So what difference does it make letting her believe this? She would believe it either way when Emeline started attending Hogwarts.

"Theo." Her voice cracked as she took a step toward me and I took one back. That little action caused so much hurt to flash in her eyes. I could see it in the way she slowly took a step back and as she let her expression fall away entirely. I leaned against the desk behind me in a casual manner.

"I was convincing. Wasn't I?" I asked. She looked up at me as I saw a tear finally fall down her cheek. "My fiancée's name is Emeline." She'll find out eventually if I don't tell her.

"That party." she said in realization. I nodded my head. "You were convincing. I'll give you that." she laughed. A sad laugh that was obvious was at herself. "You don't love me." she said to herself. I should've stayed quiet, but I didn't.

"I don't. But you love me."

"No shit." she whispered as she turned her back to me. She covered her face with both hands and started quietly crying. I couldn't see her face, but it was obvious she was heaving. With every second passing I wanted to take back everything I said.

I was about to start crying as well if I continued watching her fall apart all because of me. "Can you get out?" I asked after a minute.

She took a couple seconds to wipe away her tears and turned back around. "Was I truly hurting you? Every time I had led you on."

It did hurt, but I knew it was nothing compared to what I'm doing now. "No." I lied.

She grabbed her school bag and rushed out before either of us could say anything else.

—---------------------------------

I had missed all my classes as well as lunch. I got in bed, closed the curtains, and completely broke down after Aurora left. Even if for any reason things would fall through with Emeline, my father will still find me someone to get married with. And Aurora would never forgive me.

My watch had said it was four in the afternoon when I began hearing everyone walk into the dorm.

"Theo?" Pansy said. I took a deep breath before answering.

"What?" I asked. I sounded sick due to how much I had been crying and I knew everyone else heard it too.

"Is Aurora in there with you?" Elio asked. "I haven't seen her since this morning."

"No." I heard him walk over to my bed and open the curtains.

"Well where is she? I thought she was with you all day." I sat up not caring about my appearance.

I looked at Blaise. I knew he knew what happened. "Did you guys know that Blaise has been having secret hookups with Loony Lovegood?" Everyone looked at Blaise, but his only attention was on me.

"Did you guys know Theo is getting married? Let's take a guess of who it isn't with." I rolled my eyes at our antics. He looked around at all our friends. "Aurora is my guess. Anyone else?" He was acting as if this was a game.

"Lovegood?" Draco asked in disgust.

"You want to fucking ask that again?" Blaise glared at Draco.

"Okay, okay." he put his hands up in surrender. "Lovegood." Draco said in a neutral statement.

"You're engaged?" Elio. Shit. I forgot about him. As I looked at him I tried to keep my face calm. It was hard to do so because my bloodshot eyes were obvious to what I had spent all day doing.

"Yeah. The whole time he was with Aurora." Blaise needs to seriously shut his mouth.

"Not the whole time." I tried defending myself.

"You cheated on her?" Pansy asked. As I looked at her I knew I had such a guilty face. Before I knew it, Elio and Pansy were both leaving.

"I hate you." I told Blaise.

"You knew what you were doing was wrong." he said. I knew, but it didn't mean I wanted to end everything with Aurora now. I had convinced myself I had a couple more months to spend with her.

"I can still hate you." I said. Draco was on his bed looking between us. "Why did you say anything?" I asked.

"You don't realize how lucky you are. I had tried giving Aurora one of the letters you sent me over break." He didn't. He saw the scared look on my face and paused for a moment. "She didn't want to read anything from you that wasn't meant for her. You ruined someone that good all for your benefit."

"I was never benefiting from-" I began saying.

"Yes you were! Don't fucking lie because yes you were. You had what you wanted all while prolonging the inevitable outcome." Blaise yelled at me. I was getting dizzy and I knew there was no use trying to defend myself. No one cared to know why I did what I did and I don't blame them. With what I told Aurora I knew she must've already told Elio and Pansy. At least Elio if not Pansy.

We were quiet for a long while. Draco went to the bathroom after the awkward silence fell into place. Blaise was staring at the ground. "You put certain ideas in her head." I said. He looked up at me curiously. "And I went along with it."

"What did you do?" Blaise asked after a moment.

"She asked if I was using her."

"Theo-"

"I don't think there would've been a difference in the outcome if I had told her the truth anyways." I said.

"I knew that's what she was thinking, but you didn't have to confirm that. You know that was never your intention." He's telling me this as if he wants me to go back to Aurora and speak to her about it.

"No. But I didn't have to have sex with her." He didn't say anything after that. Draco came out of the bathroom and for a whole five minutes it was deadly silent. Then Pansy walked in.

We all turned to look at her, but she completely ignored us. She went to Elio's trunk and began getting clothes out.

"What are you doing?" Draco asked her.

"Elio needs clothes to sleep." she looked at me, but quickly looked back at Draco to avoid my gaze. "I think he'll be sleeping in our room for a while." As she walked out I closed my curtains and tried to fall asleep.