My Love // Theo Nott

sixty six

Before I came home from Hogwarts I had gotten a slim chance to talk to Theo alone. He hadn't been making it easy. Always being with at least Blaise.

When I did corner him I was entirely invading his privacy. I had gotten desperate after weeks of him avoiding me, so I did something unimaginable. I followed him to the lavatory. I waited an appropriate amount of time for him to do his business, then I walked in and put a charm on the door to lock.

"This is the boys room." Theo said, nervously, may I add.

"What did you mean when you said you love me?" I asked. I made sure I stood where he couldn't get to the door without me making an effort to stop him.

"Nothing." He rubbed the back of his head. His hair had gotten slightly longer and I noticed it was more unkempt than before we broke up.

"Theo." I said.

"What?" he wouldn't look at me.

"Do you love me?" I knew his response was going to determine my decision on what to do with this thing inside me. I hated myself for putting myself in such a vulnerable position.

"Aurora-" he moved farther back to lean against the sinks. He rubbed his eyebrows and covered his eyes. He seemed exhausted and it looked like I was ruining his mood even more.

"Theodore." I said firmly. He finally looked at me. He didn't look mad, but he didn't look happy.

"Don't call me that." he whispered.

"I thought I was the only one allowed to call you that." I paused. "Or was that simply something you said to just say?" I asked.

"I loved you, Aurora. I didn't entirely use you." He resorted back to looking at everything except me.

I tilted my head as I kept an unreadable expression on my face. "Used me how?" I asked. That brought his gaze back to me.

"I already told you." he said.

"Say it again." I had to hear it.

"Why?" he asked, almost desperately.

"To know. For sure. Stop fucking with me by telling me you love me."

"To-" He was struggling, I could tell, "to sleep with you-"

"To have sex with me." I corrected. I felt like it sounded more harsh. I wanted him to hear it. Theo seemed a lot more hurt about this than I was. His expressions also gave away a lot more emotion than they did when everything initially happened. He visibly cringed and tilted his head down to look at his shoes, his hair falling in front of his face, so I couldn't see him.

"It wasn't like that-" I cut him off right away. He sniffled and it was clear he was crying.

"But it was, Theo." He didn't say anything after that. I knew he wouldn't, but there was a part of me that wanted him to show himself being vulnerable over this situation to me. I wanted him to be able to. He used to. I had a fleeting feeling that if maybe he did what he used to do, everything would go back to how it was. But he kept his head down, not letting me get a single glance at his tear stricken face. "Lucky I didn't get pregnant, huh?" I turned around to walk out and he didn't stop me.

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Outside the clinic I told Ezra what time to come back.

"Don't I have to go in?" he asked. I shook my head. I walked in and it turned out I had to have someone come in to sign the papers for the moment I was done with the procedure. Bringing Ezra inside definitely increased the judgemental looks we were getting from some of the older staff.