My Love // Theo Nott

seventy one

That night, Elio slept in my room with me. Sort of. Everytime I woke up I could tell he hadn't been asleep. I felt guilty about how worried I had made Elio. I knew this was the reason he had always been very protective of me. I just didn't care before.

As the months got colder, the secret of the outcome of that night after Theo and I slept together began weighing heavily on my chest. I wanted to tell someone, but there was no one I could trust to not overreact. Or judge me. As I continued thinking about it, all I could think about was Blaise. But then again, how can I know that he wouldn't go and tell Theo. The two were already at a cross and not as close and inseparable as before. I blame myself for that.

When I told Elio that I would have to miss out on the dance he was upset over the circumstances, but he was surprisingly understanding.

Ezra and I had been writing to each other, but after November started I didn't have the energy to continue writing to him. It was mid November, nearly my birthday, and I knew a party would be thrown in the common room this coming weekend. I avoided the group like the plague. I knew they were worried, but part of the reason was the sudden urge to tell someone what I had done over the summer. It wasn't a brief urge. I wanted to tell literally anyone that would listen. Pansy was a great person to be around since she never gave me enough time to properly blurt something rash out.

It was Thursday now and as I walked into the common room late at night I didn't expect to see anyone in there. Especially not Theo. He heard me come in and right away turned to look my way. As he turned back around towards the fireplace he muttered, "Haven't seen much of you."

As I faltered my steps I rolled my eyes.

"Aren't I the best ex you've ever had? I make your life so easy." I was being sarcastic. Theo knew, he rolled his eyes. Were we in our loathing stage? I was. Was he?

"Just because we're not together anymore doesn't mean I want you out of my life." he said. I was standing behind the armchair closest to the stairway to the dorms in case I wanted to walk away from the conversation. Theo didn't look at me as he spoke.

"Well I do." I said. He looked at me. With his eyebrows scrunched together, he scoffed at me.

"Can we be civil, yeah?" he asked. Civil?

"I was civil." I said.

"Then what happened?"

"I got pregnant." I was now looking at the fireplace too, but Theo was looking at me. From the corner of my eye I saw his eyes wide open in disbelief. Did I regret saying that? I'm not very sure.

"What?" he whispered. I looked over at him nonchalantly.

"Drop that face. I'm not anymore." He didn't.

"What the fuck, Aurora." He was in disbelief. He stood up and I leaned off the armchair. He sounded mad and for the first time ever, I was slightly scared of what he might do. I was running through all the options in my head of what to do if Theo were to charge at me. He had an angry posture and he looked ready to walk towards me. My first thought was to possibly run to my dorm room. His fiancee is in there, she'd be able to calm him down, right? I felt safer with Elio and the boys though.

"Don't yell at me." I said calmly.

"Why would you say some shit like that?" He was really mad.

"You didn't wear a condom, you ass. Why are you so mad?" I shouldn't cuss at him when he's so angry.

His eyes were so wide, he looked ready to cry. He was shaking his head. "Before we left. You had said something about not getting pregnant..." I nodded my head. "You were- you..." he motioned at me. I knew what he was trying to say. Why was he so scared of saying the word? "Why didn't you say anything?" He was looking at me as if I was the bad guy here for not telling him.