Journey below [L x reader] • Death Note

Chapter 19 | damn fates

Sitting by the river Lethe, L was thinking again. He seemed to be doing that a lot recently. But who could blame him when the fates have thrown him a million curveballs recently. He still wasn't any closer to figuring things out, and still needed to wait a bit longer until he was strong enough to head back to the surface.

He starred into its glistening waters, thinking about the time he first saw the river and had his moment of weakness. His hands were just above the water, so close to scooping it up and drinking it. He was glad he didn't, otherwise he'd have forgotten his time alive. But he felt justified in having that moment of weakness where he almost did.

His life wasn't good. Plain and simple.

While he was incredibly lucky to have Watari and his successors when he was alive, that was pretty much all he had. Sure the shiny title of worlds greatest detective is cool, but it means nothing when you're lonely, traumatised and viewed by the world around you is strange, leaving to brunch avoided by everyone.

He knew his birth parents might be a shade somewhere in the underworld by now, if they were dead. He had no idea what happened to them after they abandoned him, but he hoped they were in Tartarus for their crimes against him.

He also knew a lot of the criminals he's caught over the years were in Tartarus too, in fact... Beyond was probably on Tartarus. A, he might be in Asphodel. He didn't know if he had the courage to face them again.

The whole being dead thing came with perks as a resident of Elysium but it also came with the curse of hindsight. Reflecting on his life, the mistakes me made, the things he wished he did differently. He'd focus on the positives if he had them, but his positives were only few. Like being taken in by Watari, and helping raise the successors. He found that the things he liked about life, were the small joys.

The first birthday cake he had, the excitement of going somewhere on a plane the first time, that one cool roller coaster he went on, seeing a band he liked in concert. Small milestones like that, they were the things he smiled at. He only wished he had more of them, more with those few he did care for and love. And while now he had eternity to make new fun memories in death, he couldn't help but feel he'd wasted his life.

Of course he contributed to the world via being a detective, but it was his personal life he felt he wasted.

"Don't turn into my husband with that melancholic look there L"

She always showed up at the right times huh?

"Hey Eurydice" he replied.

The girl much older and wiser than him sat next to him at the river bank, her weekly fruit basket in hand.

"You're not thinking of drinking from the river are you?" She asked.

"No... I did when I first got here but I didn't do it. Just... reflecting. I've been doing that a lot when I've gotten time away from the surface and the fates throwing me curveballs" L replied.

"Ah, those pesky fates. They love to mess with people. But I know what you mean, I did a lot of reflecting when I first died too. I had regrets, I had goals I never achieved, I wanted another chance. I almost got it too, but having that torn from me gave me kind of a wake up call that death... it's inescapable. You get one life, but you get eternity after it to do as you please. Almost as if life is a lesson, preparing you for the afterlife"

She was so poetic sometimes, she was Orpheus' wife so no surprise. All her time was spent writing music with him.

"I guess I'm just worried about the people I love who are still alive, and I regret not being with them more when I was alive" L sighed.

"Felt. I had the same feeling when I died. But, everyone dies eventually. One day you'll get to see them again, talk to them, hold them" Eurydice replied.

"I barely had anyone in life. My dad, two successors that are down here somewhere I'm not sure if I can face again, and three more successors who are still kids up on the surface. It's them I feel I let down, they're so young. They still need love and guidance and I'm down here unable to give it to them"

"The most you can do check up on them when you're at the surface really. But don't stress it too much, in 80 something years when they all die after a long, happy life, you can be with them again. I know it seems like a long time but 80 years compared to eternity is nothing. Time... it tends to go very fast down here"

She did have a point, he'd always end up seeing them again. He might have to wait a while but one way or another he will re-unite with them. And after that he has all of eternity to spend with them to catch up, say sorry for leaving them early, help them adjust to death. He missed them, but he would see them again one day.

"Plus, at least you have two people down here with you that you love" Eurydice said.

"Two? My dad and?" L replied.

"(Y/n), duh. Come on don't even try and lie to me I can see it a mile away. Eros shot your ass with one of his arrows for sure"

You? She thought he was in love with you?

Well it did make sense, since you were always together up on the surface. You were the one that came to get him each time you left together, you were the one to help him get used to the underworld. You were basically stuck together like glue in the past... how long has it been now... month? Maybe just over?

And of course, the fates clearly wanted him to meet you with that first ever meeting out of Styx.

"I mean I guess the fates wanted us to meet for some reason. Otherwise they wouldn't have been on duty that day" He replied.

Eurydice sighed, an amused one like a mother gave you when something flew over your head.

"Forgive me L, but you're not good at emotions sometimes" she said.

"I get that a lot" he replied.

"L, you talk about them literally every time we meet. There's always something you have to say about them and it's always something good. Don't you think that might have something to do with I dunno... a deep care for them? I know it's only been around a month but the fates know what they're doing"

He took in her words for a moment, slowly it sank in. He truly wasn't that good at emotions was he? It took him this long to even realise what had been going on ever since you met.

"I'm in love with (y/n) aren't I?" He said.

"Yes, you are" Eurydice replied.

"Huh... never felt that before... it's nice"

He took a second to properly process that. He'd died, but even after his death he had the opportunity to fall in love. Maybe dying wasn't so bad if he fell in love with a shade the day he died.

"It is nice. Very nice. Look take a hot second to process that, since clearly you need it. But remember the whole moral of my tragedy, learn from it. Don't look back" Eurydice assured.

"Don't look back..." he muttered.

You were a duty bound shade at the house of hades, died in the 1920s in a car accident. He was a recently deceased shade, working on the Kira case in life and in death. Died in 2006 from a Kira induced heart attack. You came from two different times, two different lives. But you still managed to meet. Out of the hundreds of people that die daily and the millions of shades wandering the underworld... you still managed to meet. Maybe the fates were being nice to him after all. One in a million chance, it happened.

"You've for all of eternity to figure it out, but believe me, sooner rather than later. You get more time together that way" Eurydice replied.

"Damnit, the fates love to mess with me huh? I'll tell them... as soon as I get over the disbelief that I actually found someone, someone that treats me... human"