A/N: Look y'all, two chapters two days in a row!!! This isn't a request, it's just something that popped into my head while I was listening to Same Old Same Old by the Civil Wars.
I am still working on request but y'all gave me such good ones that now I'm trying to make sure I make the storylines absolutely perfect lmaoooo
Anyways, I was nice with this one. Angst with a happy ending.
You noticed the shift in Natasha early on. It was nothing drastic; just little things. At times where you normally would expect her to reach for your hand just to have some form of contact, she wouldn't. Her smile wasn't as easy anymore, never quite reaching her eyes. Her body would stiffen each time you would crawl into bed beside her.
Yet, her words were still gentle, her voice warm and inviting. Her eyes still held just enough love in them that you were able to push past the sadness you saw there too. It was all enough for you to allow yourself to believe that this was simply a passing faze; nothing more than a rough patch.
Soon, you hoped, you would have your Natasha back.
You decided to simply let it take its course. You didn't want to mention any of your growing anxieties to Natasha and truth be told you couldn't decide if you were more afraid she would say you were overreacting or confirm your fears.
Instead, you tried to ignore it. You tried your best to act normal. She made that impossible for you.
Soon her words held less of the warmth you were accustomed to. Her demeanor becoming more and more standoffish towards you.
Anytime you'd reach for her, she'd pull away muttering some excuse that allowed her a quick escape from you.
It broke your heart, of course, but if there was anything you learned about Natasha in your time with her it was that when she needed space you should give it to her.
And so you did.
It only seemed to agitate her further.
Natasha would come to your shared room at night and give you this look that rested somewhere between resentment and longing. For the life of you, you couldn't understand it.
You had no clue what you could have done to make her feel or behave in the way she was. For days, you ran through everything you had said to the redhead in the past few months. You picked apart each and every memory to see if there was anything, anything at all that you had said or done to make her change so suddenly.
But you came up dry.
You had concluded that all you had done over the past few months is what you had been doing for the past year and a half of your relationship.
Natasha had always said how much she loved the peace you brought her. You were her calm in the raging storm she called a life. You were her rock.
You filled her life with a sense of normalcy that people weren't often privy to in your line of work. She had told you multiple times that you were what made her feel like a person; not just some weapon to be used when people needed it.
So what had changed?
You knew the only way to figure any of this out was to directly confront her about it. This delicate dance you two had been doing with each other had gone on for long enough.
So that night, you waited for her in your room just as you had every other night.
When she came in you were once again met with that look. Resentment and longing.
Natasha was deathly silent as she walked into the room. Her shoulders were square and tense; a sight that made the frown already plastered on your face deeper.
You waited until she began to get ready for bed before speaking. "What's happened to us, Nat?"
She paused. This was the first time in a very long time that you hadn't greeted her with some variation of 'Hi baby, how was your day today?'
She glanced at you over her shoulder before speaking again. "What do you mean?" Her question angered you. You had always been able to pick up on the more subtle things when it came to those around you; it came with the job.
Natasha of all people knew that you would have picked up on her behavioral shit relatively quickly. You would even go as far as to bet she had been counting on it.
"You've changed, Nat...we both know that you've changed and I want to know why." Your tone came out more demanding than you intended but you couldn't help it. This whole thing had gone on far too long.
Natasha was silent as she pulled on her large nightshirt, it was one of your old oversized band ts.
You waited for her to respond. You knew Natasha which meant you knew there was no need to press until she gave you a response.
"I have changed, Y/N," she started. "But you haven't, and that's my issue." Your eyes met hers once she turned to face you. Hers held a sense of deep sadness in them. It was nothing like you had ever seen before when it came to her.
"We've gotten comfortable with each other. Too comfortable." Your throat felt like it was drying up as she continued. "I'm...I'm bored, Y/N and it feels suffocating to be around you when all you do is the same thing all the time."
She looked away from you. You could see the tears quickly welling in her eyes as she hugged herself. "I love you with everything that I am, but continuing to do the same things with you day in and day out isn't enough anymore."
Your heart stopped. You couldn't believe what you were hearing. How could you have managed to drive her away by doing everything right? How couldn't you have seen the signs that she needed more from you sooner?
How could you have failed her like this?
Deep down the rational part of you was screaming that it was neither of your faults. She had wanted more but didn't know how to tell you and you had fallen into a routine when it came to loving her.
Still, you felt like you were totally and completely at fault for this and everything in this moment was saying that she was going to leave you for it.
You took a moment to silently string your response together before speaking. "Are...are you breaking up with me, Natasha?"
Even though you were no longer looking at her in an attempt to keep your own tears at bay, you could see her head snap to you.
"No! Y/N, no," She was at your side in an instant. "Y/N, look at me." Her hand came to gently rest on your cheek before turning your face so that you were forced to look her in the eye.
"You are the only one that I want, need, and love." Her voice held that warm, soothing tone you had begun to miss over the past few weeks. "You know me better than anyone else. You are the reason I get up in the morning and go about my day, dekta."
Her breath shook as she sucked it in. "But it got to a point where everything was so...predictable. Day in and day out it was like we were machines running through the same script over and over and over again."
She looked down for a moment and shook her head before looking back to your eyes. "I didn't know how to tell you without breaking your heart so I kept it in."
"Tasha, you know you can't keep things like that from me." You were only able to muster a whisper in fear that anything louder would give way to your tears.
"I know that now, and I'm sorry, Y/N. I really, really am." You could feel the shake in her hand against your cheek as her thumb delicately traced over your cheek bone. "I just need something to shift in our relationship, Y/N. It doesn't even have to be something drastic just...just something new."
Your eyes met hers once again. "I can do that, Tash. I promise, but only if you promise to keep communicating with me about things like this instead of holding it in. Deal?"
For the first time in a long time Natasha smiled a real genuine smile at you. "Deal." She whispered.
Satisfied, you leaned in and pressed a delicate kiss to her forehead before moving down and pressing one to her lips.
