A/N: This is the end of my rapid fire updating, hope y'all enjoyed.
Looking out over the dark waters of the Hudson you sighed before taking a slow drag of the cigarette in your hand. The distance ambiance of the city was somewhat calming to you despite all the chaos it represented. Put some distance between you and it felt as though you were escaping your troubles for a moment.
Letting out the sickening smoke you looked down at the cancerous stick between your fingers and grimaced. You hated the little thing with a fiery passion, didn't make them any less appealing.
"Those are horrible for you ya know." Sighing heavily you brought the cigarette back up to your lips. "They don't do anything to me, you know that."
Taking another drag from the cigarette you kept your eyes trained on the murky water. You could feel Natasha's steady gaze on you. She was studying you, trying to gauge what kind of mood you were in.
When she was satisfied with whatever answer she could come up with she stepped a bit closer before leaning against the railing and looking out at the water. Letting out the smoke you made sure to blow it away from her.
"What are you doing here Natasha?" She turned to look at you only to find that you still hadn't spared her a glance. She sighed before shrugging. "I could ask you the same thing."
With a dry chuckle, you shook your head. "Getting away." You looked down at the cigarette in your hand. You estimated you had maybe one or two more hits left in it. "That's a little hard when what you're trying to escape keeps following you." Your tone was pointed and hard, not something Nat was used to from you.
"Y/N...I..." Laughing you shook your head. "Save it, Natasha, there's not anything you could say at this moment that could make this better." You raised the cigarette back to your lips but paused. "Well, there is something, but then it wouldn't be sincere."
"Well, what do you want me to do Y/N?" Natasha asked truly at a loss. Running a hand through her red curls she pushed off the railing. "You know Bucky and I we-"
"You clicked." You cut her off. Taking one last drag you pressed the smoldering end of the cigarette against the railing to put it out before flicking it into the waters below.
Natasha was silenced by your words. She truly didn't know what else to say. All she could do was watch you intently, every one of your movements captivating her attention.
Letting out the smoke you stuffed your hands in your pockets before taking a deep breath. Looking down you sighed. "It's okay Natasha because I learned something." Turning to look at her for the first time your sorrow-filled orbs met hers.
"I can't make you love me. It's not possible." A sad smile crossed found it's way on your face. Shaking your head you looked away from her. "And you can't force yourself to love me, especially when you've already fallen for him." The last word rolled off your tongue like a curse.
Closing your eyes your jaw tensed before your shoulders slumped a bit. "The worst part of it all is that I'll always be here for you," You ducked your head a bit when returning your gaze to her. "I will always be here for you Natasha because I do love you and I always will. Even if you can't bring yourself to feel the same."
Natasha stood there silently, doing her best to process everything you had just told her. Sensing she had nothing left to say to you—you moved to walk away. When you got about 20 feet away Natasha turned quickly.
"Wait," Pausing, you turned to meet her teary gaze. "I'm sorry." Smiling a bit more you shrugged.
"I know."
