STRANDED (THE WILDS KIRIN O'CONNOR)

DAY 26. CONFRONTING A THIEF

We were all huddled in the shelter as it was freezing, the sun was out on a deserted island and we were freezing. It was like hell finally froze over, we were all tired from not moving around as it was so cold.

Kirin and I were so close to one another it was like we were trying to mold into each other, "Wake up, Taylor." Kirin said while throwing a gummy at Ivan who was dozing off.

"Did you just smite me with an antacid?" "Was trying to do you a favor, dude. Look, if we crash right now, it'll be that much harder to fall asleep tonight, when it's even colder."

I sigh defeated "Yo, it was just hot as hell yesterday. Where is this polar vortex shit coming from, man?" Scotty complains and I nod at him wondering the same thing.

"Well, the short answer to your question is the south-southeast, but the more accurate response is that climate change is creating..." Henry starts but Kirin cuts him off.

"Fat fucking yawn, Damien." "New rule. No one's allowed to say or do anything boring right now while we're trying to stay awake."

Kirin gets more energetic by the second, "You know what? I got this. I'll be the, what you call it, the entertainment. Girding the loins."

"This outta be good." I mumble in sarcasm "So, there's a bunch of super-hot nuns, right? And they're all lined up trying to get into heaven, but there's one more thing." Kirin starts

"They gotta do confession one last time."

"First nun walks up to Saint Peter, and he's like, "Sister, have you ever touched a penis?" And she's like, "Yeah, I touched a penis with the tip of my finger once." And he's like, "That's okay. Just dip your finger in the holy water and zip on up to heaven."

I look around as all the guys are invested in Kirin's story, except Ivan who catches my eye and we have a silent Conversation. Ivan gives me a look like "What the fuck is your boyfriend on?" And I just shrug my shoulders.

"Next nun walks up, and she's like, "Pete, I actually massaged a shlong with my whole hand." Kirin tells showing us all his hand and continuing the story he pulled out of his ass.

"And he's like, "All good. Just dip your whole hand in the holy water and get up to the pearly gates."

"But then suddenly there's, like, a jostling in the line, and then this nun emerges. and she's like, "Well, if I have to gargle that stuff, I just want to do it before Sister Mary Thomas puts her ass in it." Kirin exclaims causing everyone but Ivan and I to laugh.

"Okay, no, no, no. That is categorically not funny." Ivan protest "Oh, but isn't it?" Kirin counters. "It's not particularly funny to tell a sex joke full of potentially triggering words when someone's just..." Ivan trails off.

"When we're trying to create a safe space for everyone here." "Ah, that's bullshit. He's fucking fine, he laughed." Kirin points to Josh who is sat next to Ivan.

I sigh feeling as though soon our peace will end, "Yeah, yeah. I definitely laughed. No brag, but I actually laughed the hardest." Josh inputs

"Okay, I'm just saying, I think..." Josh cuts Ivan off "Yeah, but don't! Don't say something for, like, once in your life. I don't need anyone acting different and I don't need a fucking safe space."

It's silent for a bit after Josh's outburst "Yo, did it get even colder in here." Scotty asks and Kirin and I turn our attention to the fire. "Fires out." I state "I'm on it, Jay, where's the lighter?"

"I don't have it." At Josh's words I start to look around and move things around hoping it is underneath something. "Bo, you've been organizing shit. You seen it around?" Scotty asks his bestie.