EX // Minsung

12. Hurt again

"I'm sorry about the other day." Sanha said as he sat down on Jisung's couch.

The time the four boys spent together at the coffee bar had been very awkward, Jisung was glad it had ended quickly and didn't want to think about it.
After they had gotten back to the dorms that day, Sam slept over at Jisung's dorm. They stayed together a lot these days. However, Jisung knew that time was going to close in on him if he wasn't going to work on his project soon. So he had sent Sam away early in the morning and invited Sanha over.

"Don't worry about it, it's not your fault." Jisung assured.

"No you're right, it's Minho's."

For some reason Jisung still felt the need to defend Minho and he had absolutely no idea why. He didn't even want to think about that boy.
"The timing was just unlucky, I'm sure Minho has better days." That was about as much defending as Jisung was going to do. "Let's work on the project now."

Jisung was pleasantly surprised by the fact that Sanha had already done his preparations for the project. This gave them an easy start and they got through the work a lot faster than expected.

"I can't believe we already finished everything we had planned for today! If we keep this up, the other days will fly by too!" Sanha happily exclaimed.

"Agreed! It's only lunchtime, we didn't even need to sit until dinner." Finally something positive to happen to Jisung.

"Do you want to grab lunch somewhere together?" Sanha asked

Jisung nodded, "can you wait for me here? Sam left some stuff here and I said I would bring it over after you and I finished the work for today. I'll be back soon!"

"Sounds good, I'll wait here."

Jisung felt happy with his accomplishments today. Sanha and him actually got along really well and they found some more common grounds. Because their conversions flowed easier now, the work was also easier to get through.

At this point Jisung didn't even bother to knock on Sam's door anymore. If he didn't want Jisung to enter, he should have just locked the door.
Maybe he should have knocked anyway, because Jisung could tell his visit was not anticipated at all. Before him two boys sat on the ground with their laptops opened, but they weren't looking at their laptop at all. They looked at each other. No. They were kissing.
Jisung let Sam's belonings fall on ground in shock. Only then the two boys looked up. One with horror on his face, the other looking at the ground in embarrassment.

"SAM WHAT THE FUCK, WITH MINHO? SERIOUSLY?!"

"No! It's not like tha-" but before Sam could even get up, Jisung already slammed the door shut and ran away.

How could he. How could he kiss Minho. How could he kiss Minho knowing I like him. NO, how could he kiss Minho knowing how he behaved? How could Minho kiss someone else when he told me he liked me.

Jisung's thoughts went feral and tears were rolling down his cheeks. He ran back to his dorm as fast as he could and immediately locked the door behind him.

"Jisung's what's wro- oh my god, why are you crying?" Sanha asked worriedly and pulled Jisung into a hug. "It's okay, you can cry, you're safe with me."

When Jisung had calmed down, he explained everything to Sanha. From the very top. He told him about crushing on Minho and then kissing Sam and then Minho being homophobic and then Minho kissing him and then Minho and Sam kissing just now. All of it. The words just came falling out of his mouth and he felt relieved when he finished talking.

"Damn, Minho is an even bigger asshole than I thought he was." Sanha patted Jisung's back to console him.

"I haven't even told anyone that Minho kissed me. I was going to tell Sam just now, dropping off his stuff was an excuse to finally go tell him." Jisung sighed, "I thought it was a good time to finally speak about what happened, but I guess I missed the timing." Jisung shed a few tears again, but he wasn't sobbing anymore.

"Liking guys is tough." It didn't sound like Sanha was empathising with Jisung, it sounded like a confession.

"Do you- do you like guys too?" Jisung carefully asked.

"Hm, I do. I'm glad I know someone else that does now." Sanha smiled. "I don't mean to make this about me, but I think I won't feel so alone now."

Sanha's smile was contagious. Jisung smiled back.

"I like you a lot, Jisung."

A silence fell, but not an uncomfortable one. They just stared at eachother. Jisung looked right into those big brown eyes of Sanha. And without noticing at all, their faces had gotten a lot closer to eachother.

"I hope you'll like me too." Sanha whispered right before pressing his lips on Jisung's lips.

Jisung could still feel his dried tears on his cheeks, but he didn't care. He moved his lips against the other's and intertwined their fingers. Jisung was an absolutely emotional wreck because of the entire situation and this just made him feel free. He felt like he was finally letting go of something that he had been holding in for a while.

Yet Jisung was the first one to pull away.

"I'm sorry. That was so nice, but I'm sorry. This is not what I want, I don't like you back. I'm sorry." At least he had the courage to say it immediately to his face, unlike that time with Sam.

I sure have kissed more boys this month than I have ever in my entire life. What am I even doing?

Sanha's embarrassment was visible, he stammered a little but couldn't seem to get any words out.

"It's okay. I don't blame you for taking advantage of the moment and I hope you won't blame me for doing the same thing. I like you a lot as a friend though." Jisung smiled and put his hand on the other boy's shoulder. "I hope you won't treat me differently, I won't treat you differently either. Please be my friend."

Sanha seemed perplexed, like no one has even handled a situation like this in such a mature way. And perhaps no one had done that before.

"Thank you." Sanha said softly.

"You still up for lunch? Crying burns calories, so I'm pretty hungry right now."

Sanha smiled, "lunch would be nice."

When they were all ready to head out and Jisung opened the door, he heard two familiar voices close to them.

"Just leave him alo-"

"Oh my god, Jisung! JISUNG! Please!"

Sam and Minho were headed straight towards Jisung, though it looked more like Minho was trying to keep Sam from Jisung. Minho probably wasn't there voluntarily.

"Jisung, PLEASE! Let me explain!" Sam begged as he was still making his way to Jisung.

Sanha stepped in front of Jisung before he could even react to Sam.

"Jisung doesn't want an explanation right now, he needs to be left alone. Actually, he needs a real friend right now." Sanha grabbed Jisung's hand and dragged Jisung out of the building

"You didn't have to be so harsh." Jisung muttered once they were on the streets.

"They totally deserved it though."

"Maybe. But maybe it was a misunderstanding or I didn't see it correctly or-"

"Jisung they hurt you."

"I just don't want to hurt my friend in return." Jisung was thankful for what Sanha had done, but he also felt bad leaving Sam like that after he had seen the look on his friend's face. He looked absolutely devastated, it pained Jisung to think about it.

"Real friends don't kiss their best friend's crush and real friends definitely don't kiss their best friend's bully." Sanha stated. And with that, all was said.