EX // Minsung

34. He smiled again

Jisung silently walked to Minho's bed again as Minho's eyes followed him. Still looking pale, like he had seen a ghost. It took everything in Jisung's body to not speak first and just sit down silently.

"Have you been eating?" Minho asked after a few awkward, silent moments.

Jisung just stared at his hands, not wanting to say no. He didn't want people to worry about him, especially not Minho. Minho already had enough to deal with on his own.

"Answer me." Minho demanded.

"A little."

"A little?"

Jisung nodded. "I ate your lasagna." He carefully said.

"Did Lewis tell you I made it?"

Jisung shook his head.

"Then how did you know I was the one making all your food?"

Jisung looked up at Minho, eyes widening. "Did you... did you make all the food?"

Minho looked like he had been caught off guard, but then nodded. "I heard you weren't eating. I know Lewis isn't good at cooking either." Minho smiled.

It was a crooked smile, but it lit a fire in Jisung's heart. Not one that burns you, but a soft fire that keeps you warm. Jisung could feel it spreading through his body and closed his eyes to try to remember it this time. Remember what Minho's smile looks like before it fades away.

"Jisung?"

Jisung opened his eyes again to look at Minho.

"At least ask me one question. Being quiet is not like you. I know your thoughts are racing right now."

Jisung thought carefully, not wanting to ask the wrong question. Also not wanting to ask too many questions at once.

"After finding out what happened, I rushed here as soon as I could. Why did Sam and Lewis not want me to?" All Jisung wanted to do was climb into the hospital bed and cuddle Minho.

"Because I asked them to keep you away from me."

That hurt, a lot. Jisung couldn't keep his thoughts quiet, all he wanted to do was ask why. He also wanted to get up, walk out of the hospital and never see Minho again. How could Minho ask him to not care? And if Minho wanted him gone so bad, why did he ask to see him just now?

"It's not what you're thinking." Minho said. "I was just going to quietly exit this world and you weren't supposed to find out at all."

Those words scared Jisung.

"Don't love me Jisung, it's rotten work." It sounded like Minho had already given up everything.

"Not to me." Jisung said, tears welling up again. "Not if it's you."

"Please Jisung, just let me go."

"But I love you so."

Minho started choking up too, "I love you too."

Jisung heart started racing. He said it back. This was the first time Minho admitted to loving him.

"Minho, I'm never going to let you go ever again." Jisung grabbed Minho's hands, tightly wrapping his own hand around Minho's. With the other hand he wiped Minho's tears away.

"I regretted it so much, but it was my own fault. It was my own stupid fault, so why am I hurting?" Minho cried out. "I don't know why I was so confident breaking up was the best choice, all I could remember was me hurting you anyway. But I can't breathe without you, Jisung. I don't want to breathe without you."

That was enough, fuck what Lewis said. Fuck Sam trying to keep them apart. Jisung stood up, leaned forward and pulled Minho into the tightest hug he could without somehow hurting Minho.

When they let go again, they kept holding eachother's hands.

Minho stared at the wall, looking too nervous to look at Jisung.
"You know, I was going to do it sooner" Minho started. "I wasn't planning on staying this long, but then I heard you weren't eating. And I know I maybe shouldn't have... but I thought I could at least help you from afar."

Jisung's heart broke upon hearing that Minho was still looking out for him all this time.

"But Lewis told me you weren't eating. And sleeping... and that you kept yourself locked away in your room." Minho completely turned his head away now, too ashamed to look at Jisung. "And I thought that maybe you had found out the food was mine and wouldn't eat it because of that. Lewis said you were getting skinnier and weaker by the day and I felt like it was all my fault."

"Minho..."

"And now that you're here with me, there's barely anything of you left. I just don't understand why you keep coming back to me." Minho looked at Jisung again. "I really had lost my mind. Losing you was losing everything I had."

Jisung wanted to say something too, but Minho stopped him again.

"This is why I told Sam you couldn't come see me. I knew as soon as I laid my eyes upon you again... I'd want you back. Even though I'll probably end up hurting you again."

"As long as you don't break up with me again, you won't hurt me. I promise." Jisung tried to reassure Minho.

Suddenly Jisung thought of something, but wasn't sure if it would be appropriate to mention right now.

"What are you thinking of?" Minho asked. "You better answer that, I hate it that you're not asking me a gazillion questions right now. Makes me feel like I truely tried to do something bad."

Jisung squeezed Minho's hand. "It's not that. It's just that I realised I never took you on a date."

"What do you mean? We went to the theme park together."

"No, you took me out on a date back then. You said that I couldn't pay since you took me out." Jisung said. "Now it's my turn to take you out. I'll treat you to many delicious things okay?"

Minho smiled but his eyes were filled with sorrow. "What will you do? I'm bound to this hospital bed, if not the psych ward soon."

"Then just get better as soon as you can, I promise I will visit every day to make sure you'll recover soon."

"Jisung, you can't, you have school."

Jisung scoffed, "like I have been going the past week anyway."

Minho sighed. "Jisung, you have to go to school, you really can't miss out."

"I'm excused from a couple of my classes anyway, I'll come visit then."

"Promise me you will go to school the other days?"

"Hm, I will. But why are you nagging so much?" Jisung teased. "What about you? How are you going to attend school from here?"

Minho smiled and ruffled through Jisung's hair. "Then keep your promise to come visit me and come bring me my homework. Lewis will give it to you and he'll bring it to me on the days you go to school."

"Then... can I keep telling the nurses you're my boyfriend so I can visit you before four in the afternoon?"

"Is that how you got in here? I was wondering how you did that." Minho didn't know if he should be upset about it, but he did think it was funny. "Smart boy."

When Minho let his eyes stray from Jisung, he saw that two curious faces were looking through the small window in the door. The faces suddenly disappeared when they were caught peeking.
"Can you tell Lewis and Sam to come in?" Minho asked. "They couldn't help themselves and were spying on us from outside the door."

Jisung rolled his eyes but smiled. "Of course Sam can't ever mind his own business." Then he walked to the door and opened it.
"Aren't you a little too curious?" It was a rhetorical question, but even if it was serious, they wouldn't have answered anyway.
Jisung stepped aside to let them in. They quickly walked past Jisung and Jisung closed the door behind them again.

"It's okay." Minho said to them. "Jisung and I made up."