EX // Minsung

17. Maybe it's going somewhere after all

"I've been very frustrated lately. And I'm so sorry for everything I put you through." Minho had told Sam everything, start to finish. Well...he did conveniently leave out his confession to Jisung.

This time Minho didn't cry. He had no tears left to cry after how much he had cried in Jisung's arms. Sam on the other hand couldn't help but let his tears roll down his cheeks when Minho told about how his dad treated him.
Jisung knew Sam could relate. It wasn't as nearly as bad as Minho's case, but Jisung knew Sam's parents didn't accept him either. It was partly the reason why Sam had moved into the dorms. He lived fairly close to school, but he couldn't stand the way his parents ignored the part of him that liked guys. When Jisung saw Minho and Sam talk about their struggles at home, he realised how lucky he had been. His parents loved and accepted him and he was always welcome back home. It pained Jisung to see them so hurt like this.

Sam wiped his tears away. "I'm so sorry you had to go through all of that. Of course it doesn't make things right, but I can't even begin to understand now painful it must have been."

Jisung let go of Minho's hands to give Sam a hug. Only now he realised how much their hands had been sweating.

"Can you see why I forgave him? He promised to be better in the future, didn't you Minho?" Jisung said while hugging Sam tightly.

"I'll really do my best. Even if we can't be friends again, I hope we can at least tolerate eachother. The other guys miss having you two over." Minho shared sincerely.

"I forgive you." Sam said unexpectedly. "It was a horrible mistake, but it was a mistake. You can't make mistakes on purpose, then it wouldn't be a mistake anymore."

Sam gestured for Minho to join the hug, "hell, let's even try to be friends! Maybe you'll actually change." Sam laughed, rubbing his dried up tears away.

Minho joined their hug, it felt so nice to be accepted by the two boys. But it felt especially nice to be so close to Jisung.

When they stood up Minho already made his way to the door. "Thank you for understanding me." He said thankfully while standing in the door opening.

"Wait for me!" Jisung turned to Sam again. "I'll walk him back, tell Lewis what happened and then come here again, okay?"

Sam nodded, but Jisung also saw him smirk.

"What?" Jisung asked.

"You're still whipped for him." Sam whispered so Minho couldn't hear. "It's okay, go walk him back to your dorm."

"I'm not...whipped." Jisung hissed back.

"Sure, sure. Just go." Sam grinned.

Minho was waiting for Jisung outside the dorm. When Jisung closed the door behind him, Minho couldn't help himself and hugged Jisung tightly.
"Because you held my hand, I was able to do well. If something like this happens again and you're not there to hold my hand, I don't think I can do it." Minho said while hugging Jisung. "Thank you. It was really nerve wrecking."

Jisung couldn't help but blush again. On the way to Lewis and Jisung's dorm, it was pretty silent. Jisung was fumbling with his fingers, wondering if it would be okay to hold Minho's hand again.
Jisung was thinking about Minho's story again and the way he told it to him at the hospital. It seemed that Jisung only now realised and he stopped in his tracks.

"What's wrong, Jisung?" Minho asked him concerned.

"I just realised," Jisung sounded deep in thought, "did you confess to me at the hospital? I know I must sound crazy, but when I think about it, it really sounded like-"

"I did." Minho cut him off, "It was a confession. Wait, are you only realising this now?"

This made Jisung feel very stupid for not noticing it earlier.

"I thought you said you weren't sure if we could even be friends again, because you couldn't accept my confession. But- but you didn't even know I was confessing?" Minho sounded as confused as he was.

"I'm sorry, I was busy trying to convince you that I don't hate you. I hadn't even realised what you said." Jisung felt embarrassed.

"Well, then do you want to answer to my confession?" Minho sounded nervous.

"This is going to make me feel even more embarassed, but I've had a crush on you ever since I laid my eyes on you." Jisung hoped his head didn't look like a big red gumball right now. "Those feelings obviously went away when I found out you were homophobic."

"I'm not homophobic!"

"Yes, you were! You have the biggest internalised homophobia I've ever seen. It isn't your fault though." Jisung could mentally slap himself for the way it came out. He wanted to be mindful of Minho's past but he still let something like this slip out.

"Okay maybe but- wait a moment, you had a crush on me?" Minho asked flustered.

"Since the first time I saw you."

"And when was that?"

"When you told me to go fool around somewhere else."

Minho laughed, "You're right, I do have a lot of internalised homophobia."

"And how come you're saying this now?" Jisung frowned.

"Because I had been silently admiring you from afar and then decided to lash out on you the moment I had a chance to speak to you in the library back then. I guess realising I still liked boys didn't bring out the best of me in that moment."

"Hm, just that moment?" Jisung teased. Even though he was being light hearted with Minho, it felt like his entire body was on fire. Minho had just admitted to secretly admiring him from afar.

Soon enough they reached the dorm. Jisung put his hand on the doorhandle, but Minho stopped him.

"I'm sorry, I'm trying not to grab you like that anymore." Minho said and let go, "But this time I'm going to ask you."

Minho seemed to hesitate, so Jisung spoke first. "Ask me what?"

"It's totally okay if you say no and don't feel pressured and just know that I won't change because you said yes or no and-"

"Minho, what do you want to ask?"

"Can I... kiss you?" This was the most shy Jisung had ever seen Minho.

"I would like that." Jisung smiled at Minho.

Minho smiled, carefully placed Jisung against the wall and put his hand on the younger's head.

"Are you sure?" Minho asked for confirmation again, just in case.

Jisung nodded, "are you teasing me by making me wait?"

Minho smiled again and softly pressed his lips against Jisung's. This time it felt good and Jisung wished Minho would never pull away, but of course he eventually had to.

"I think, I think you can tell Lewis by yourself, is that okay? Sam's waiting for me." Jisung stammered.

Minho smiled oh so lovely at Jisung again, "I'll be fine, thank you for walking together."

Jisung waited until Minho stepped into the dorm and closed the door behind him. Then he turned around and ran to Sam as fast as he could.

"SAM!" Jisung shouted entereing Sam's dorm.

"What's up, why are you out of breath? Did you run here?" Sam asked confused.

Jisung took a deep breath and sat down, "Minho kissed me!"