EX // Minsung

35. Just accept me already

It was a bit awkward, given they both had said a different answer to Lewis's question, "So are you two back together now?"

"I'm sorry, I just assumed... because of what I said earlier." Jisung replied awkwardly. "Because I'd need to say I'm your boyfriend to come visit you sooner."

Jisung expected Minho to say something and clear up their miscommunication.
He stayed silent.

"I guess I just felt like that on my own." Jisung looked away from the group, too embarrassed to see their reactions.

"Jisung, it's... I just-" Minho tried.

"It's okay." Jisung stood up. "I'm sure you have a lot to catch up on, I'll wait outside."
Jisung kind of expected Sam to follow him, but he was glad when he didn't.

I don't know why I thought he wanted to get back to the way we were were. Maybe we can't ever go back to the way we were.

Jisung did as he said he would and sat down on a chair outside the room. From his seat he could still see the boys inside the room. They looked like they were discussing something. One moment they looked concerned, another moment they looked content. Jisung couldn't really tell what their conversation was about.

All Jisung wanted to do was stick by Minho's side, especially because he was going through a tough time right now. But maybe Minho just wanted to keep his distance from Jisung and not be involved like that anymore.

He said he loved me though. He said he would go on a date with me...
Maybe he didn't say that at all, maybe I just interpreted it as him wanting to date. That's right, he never actually said anything about going.

If there's one thing Jisung wanted to do the most, it was empty his brain. Or shut it off all together. He kept overthinking about everything, all the time. It was exhausting.
And not only that, he also still had a ton of questions that he wanted to ask Minho. He should've just asked them instead of listening to Lewis.

There was especially one question that bothered him too much, he couldn't help himself.
Jisung stood up and barged back into the room, making everyone else stop in their tracks.

"If you weren't going to give me another chance again... why did you not wake me up and send me away when you found me asleep in your lap after you woke up?"

Minho just sat there. Just staring at Jisung, a little bewildered.

Jisung balled his fists, "why won't you give me another chance when you said you love me too?"

Lewis and Sam looked at eachother. And then at Minho.
"You said you love him? Do you love him?" Lewis asked surprised.

Minho nodded. "I did. And I do." He fumbled with his fingers. "And it's not that I don't want to give you another chance, it's that I think I don't deserve one."

"Will you quit saying that already! You said you don't want to hurt me anymore right? Then stop hurting me and take me back!" Jisung realised that maybe he sounded too demanding, but he really didn't know how else he could get his point across anymore.

Minho started to get up and tried to struggle his way out of bed.

"Just stay seated," Jisung sighed, angrily wiping a tear away, "I'll come to you."
He took a seat next to the bed again.

"Do you really want to get back together again? Please don't do it just because I'm pitiful right now." Minho started to reach out to Jisung, but backed away again.

Jisung grabbed Minho's hand anyway. "It's not because you're like this. After all we went through... if I didn't want you anymore, I wouldn't have come today."

"Then... is it really okay for me to want you?"

Jisung nodded. "Please want me all you can, because I need you."

Lewis checked his watch, "I'm sorry but we really have to go back to campus. Should I give you a ride too Jisung?"

Jisung nodded, "thank you."

They said their goodbyes and exited the room. But when Sam closed Minho's door behind them, something didn't feel quite right to Jisung yet.

"I forgot something, I'll be right back." Jisung said to his friends and quickly entered the room again.

"Jisung?" Minho asked.

"I forgot something." Before Minho could ask what it was, Jisung quickly gave Minho a peck on the lips. "Come back to school soon so I can do this everyday after class, okay?"

Jisung smiled at the sight of Minho blushing and getting all shy.

"Oh... hm, I-I will." And even when Jisung turned around to leave, Minho was still smiling to himself.

The drive home was boring and too long. It would still take too many hours before Jisung could see Minho again.
For the first time in two weeks, Jisung felt hungry again.

"Is that your stomach growling so loudly?" Sam asked.

Jisung nodded, "let's get home quickly."

"Do you want to get McDonald's? There's on the side of the highway, not much further." Lewis said. "I'll take the next exit."

"No!" Jisung said a little too loud for it to be not suspicious. "I mean, I want to eat at home."
Jisung thought about all the various meals still in his freezer, all made by Minho. He would rather have that than McDonald's.

"Do we even have food at the dorm?" Lewis sounded worried. "Let's just have burgers, okay?"

Sam seemed to have caught on, "Lewis, let's just eat at home."

"But-"

"It's because he misses Minho already, that's why he wants to eat at home."

Lewis seemed to have remembered the frozen dishes as well. "Ahh, did Minho tell you? That he made all that?"

"I figured out myself." Jisung said. "It was the same lasagna as he made on our first big date." Jisung smiled to himself.

"So you ate! Thank god, thank you so much for eating." Lewis seemed to be very relieved to hear the good news.

Just too much had been happening again lately, Jisung couldn't wait to get home and relax. He finally felt like he could do that. He still wished he could've stayed with Minho though, leaving him alone still worried Jisung just a little.

As they were driving home the sky turned darker. And Jisung thought about Minho being all alone in his hospital bed right now. He suddenly realised he hadn't even thought about Minho's dad yet.

"Does Minho's dad know that Minho tried to commit?" Jisung wondered out loud.

"I sure hope not." Lewis's eyebrows turned down and his hands grabbed the steering wheel slightly tighter. "We should definitely keep this from him. Last time he reacted... not so well."

Jisung turned his head to look out the window again. "I can imagine."
Jisung had of course never met Minho's dad and he was hoping he never would. Though the chances aren't that small, considering he is the principal.

Good thing I straightened out my absences with the teachers.

Jisung thought that if he maybe had anymore absences, he would have to meet Minho's dad over it. He couldn't imagine what that would be like. Jisung has always been a very good student after all, always on top of the class. Jisung was polite and smart, so he never got in trouble in school.

Jisung had never even gotten detention, so let alone that he had met a principal.