(BlackHeart2) BLACKSOUL

Chapter 32 (Dom's POV)

        My chest was heaving and I couldn't stop it. No matter how much I tried to calm myself down, I couldn't stop that heaving chest. Placing my hands on my kitchen counter, I let my head fall and shut my eyes. Breathe Domani. Her fucking scent was all over me. I could taste her in my mouth. My hands stung with the touch of her flesh, still a hot memory against them. My cold counter couldn't soothe the burning of my palms while I stood there trying to control myself. Control this anger inside me that was suffocating me. 

Her words kept replaying in my head. I know what I said. I know I fucking said I hated her and that I regretted her. But every time she brought it up I wanted to shut her up.

She'd regret me in the morning? She said we both would. I was vibrating with anger at how fucking wrong she is. I fucking crave her and I hate myself for it. She was right there. Right there in front of me. Right there on my lap. Fuck.

        I swung my arm and swiped everything off the counter that my grasp could reach. I couldn't stop myself. I was seeing red. I ripped through my apartment like a bull, flipping chairs. My coffee table was flipped halfway across the living room floor. The vases were smashed. I punched three holes in my walls and growled out this raging frustration that bubbled below my chest.

I knew I was bleeding. I saw the smear on the wall and the droplets that followed me as I walked to my living room. I dropped down on the sofa I'd shoved about two feet away from where it'd originally been. With my clean hand, I fisted my hair, and tried to breathe again. It's just blue balls, Domani. Just call someone else. 

My hands were so damn unsteady I had to grab a cigarette instead. Fuck the smell of the smoke I'm not going outside right now. I dug around for a lighter and lit the damn thing. After a deep drag I could feel the burning of my lungs. At least with this I know its source.

        I didn't even look at the mess. I know shit's broken, but I don't wanna look. I don't wanna deal with myself or any of this. I can't even call a girl over if my house is half destroyed. Anger flickered inside me again. I need release. Whatever, Giana won't care if my house is a mess. I texted her telling her I want her here. I knew she was probably still at the club at this time, because it wasn't long ago that I left. 

I shouldn't have left. I shouldn't have meddled with Mia and Rizzo.

I wanted to break his fucking eye socket with the butt of my gun, but I knew I had no valid reason to do it, so I told security to throw him out. I couldn't get my hands involved or I'd kill my own guy. My own friend. I left because if Mia went off with Rizzo I knew what they'd be doing, and I couldn't stand it. 

I hate myself. It's not her I hate. It's myself for being this fucking pathetic piece of shit wherever she's involved. I turned the switch. I'd shut it off after she refused to come back with me to New York, but her return here is messing everything up. She doesn't matter. This is stupid. I'm being stupid. It's just about control. I just wanted control.

        When I got Giana's text telling me she was on her way I tried to let myself calm down. I'll blow off steam by screwing this girl until she can't see straight. Like Mia said, I was just horny. I just got blinded by the constant need for sex that I have. This isn't about her.

When the ding sounded from the foyer I knew Giana was here. I heard the clacking of her heels, but they stopped abruptly. "Oh my god, Dom, what happened?" her eyes took in the condition of my home, rushing over to the sofa I was still sitting on. 

"You're bleeding," she reminded me. Her face was a worried one. "It's nothing," was all I said about it. I guess I should at least wash my hands, so I don't rub blood all over the girl. I stood and went to my kitchen sink. It was messy here too, so when she followed after me she started with all the questions.